The Truth Behind Illusion
by gone-phishing
Summary: She SHOULD have died that night. She SHOULD have been able to rest in peace, alas fate had something much crueler in store. When you become the very thing you have always fought against, how do you escape the darkness within yourself? Grim/Ruki Ichi/Ruki
1. Falling From Grace

**Author's Note: Never written anything for Bleach before, as I only recently started the anime. Sorry if the characters are OOC. **

**Not sure if I will continue this story, the ideas just been floating around my head and had to write it down. I will take any pairing suggestions, so please let me know.**

**Thanks for reading, enjoy!**

**Chapter 1**

Coincidence- the occurrence of events that happen at the same time by accident but seem to have some connection; _also_: any of these occurrences.

Such an idealistic notion of pure coincidence is just plain foolishness. Nothing…absolutely nothing is just coincidence. Behind every small encounter that occurs daily, not a single one is unintentional- There is a reason for everything. Nothing in this world or the next is exempt from this rule.

Once one perceives events as plain coincidence, or others as 'accidents', they have already lost the fight. One simple miscalculation, one simple misconception- turning an act with reason behind it into a mere coincidence, is a mistake that is rewarded only with death.

No one knew this rule better than a certain raven-haired shinigami. She was relatively young, compared to those around her, yet she held immeasurable wisdom, gained from witnessing the horrors of war. She was no stranger to the darker side of the world, having been brought up in a place most end up dying.

These experiences may have left some children of her age traumatized for life, but they only hardened her already cold exterior.

Until she met the person she could define under the term as 'friend' Kuchiki Rukia was a stranger to her own heart.

Perhaps from her training to become a shinigami, or throughout her troubled days in rukongai, somewhere along the way she learned one of the most important lessons to survival. 'Always expect the worse'.

Maybe that's why on this particular night, the young Kuchiki was exceedingly nervous.

She had just faced her first arrancar with a certain substitute shinigami watching while being pinned by her own body.

No, that was not the problem, nor was it the cause of the anxiety she was feeling…

No…it was the fact she had just defeated the arrancar, without using even half of her power…

Now, if she was the hot-headed carrot-top, she may be wearing some sort of smug expression, while grinning back at her partner...But not Rukia.

It was wrong.

So wrong.

From what she'd heard, the arrancar were a formidable force, not to be reckoned with…and after that encounter…she was unnerved.

It was just too damn easy, hell, she was sure a regular Gillian could be more powerful.

Turning back to the tangle of limbs, she hid her worry behind a scowl which would hopefully be enough to deter the idiot from flooding her with questions.

"Ah get it off!" he growled, attempting to pry the Chappy mod-soul that was currently inhabiting Rukia's gigai, off his stiff back without her breaking one of his arms.

Rukia couldn't help but smile slight at the scene before here…it just seemed so…surreal. It seemed so…peaceful, if you didn't count Chappy breaking Ichigo's limbs, until a familiar burst of reitsu caught the attention of both the grounded strawberry and the raven haired shinigami.

"Renji…" she murmured, having felt him activate Bankai.

She shuddered…had her opponent just been a weakling?

No matter how she tried, she couldn't shake the feeling of something being completely wrong. She couldn't place what it was, but the scene was just…off. It wasn't right…she knew that much, but as she attempted to alert the substitute shinigami of her fears, her breath hitched in her throat as she realized what was wrong….

There was another reitsu…one that she had never felt before. It was extreeemly weak, but it was oozing out sluggishly just as Ichigo's.

Why…why did such a small reitsu cause her so much worry?

Then it hit her like a ton of bricks in the face…the reitsu wasn't small in the slightest!

It felt like it was being sealed off. Swallowing the ever growing lump in her throat, she gazed up at the night sky dotted with hundreds of stars. It was almost impossible to tell because of the night sky in the background, but she saw it there, hovering ominously. A gargantuan, where the other arrancar must have entered from.

She staggered as the deceivingly 'small' reitsu was released from its captivity, weighing down on everything in the area….the word 'monstrous' could barely describe it. It felt like she was carrying something many times her own weight, as it had to have been more than twice the size of a captains. That in itself was horrifying, as she desperately prayed that they would not encounter the being that held that power.

Unluckily for her, fate had something much worse than death in store for her.

It was a stupid mission, it really was. The blue haired sexta thought as he stalked down the endless darkness of Hueko Mundo to the realm of the living.

It was too simple, and it didn't seem to involve much fighting….

'Drag some of the weakest arrancar with him, use them to distract the shinigami, find the former host of the hygoku and punch a hole in her'.

He still remembered the creepy tone of voice Aizen used as he finished the order 'Don't worry; I'll take care of the rest.'

Grimmjow grumbled clenching his jaw as well as his fists, managing to scare the low ranked arrancar around him shitless. It didn't take long for the small invasion party to reach the edges of reality between Hueko Mundo and the human world.

Striding through, careful to keep his reitsu in check, he roared at the other Arrancar to go and do their jobs. They all scampered around, hurrying off into different locations around the human city. Grimmjow simply began to wonder around until he came upon an interesting scene.

One of the arrancar he sent out, was in battle with the raven-haired shinigami he had been briefed about….Punch a hole in her, ey?

Now…Grimmjow was not the kind of man who took pleasure in thinking about women's bodies, but in this instance he deemed it acceptable. He wondered silently where he should place the whole….in her gut like his own.

No…that reminds him too much of what that damn Ulquiorra subconsciously does.

Where else?

Suddenly, a brilliant idea struck him.

Shinigami were always claiming hollows held no hearts, which in a sense was true, but in another couldn't be further away. Smirking a bit sadistically, he decided they should get a chance to feel what it's like to be missing your heart….

Rubbing his hands together eagerly, he simply watched the fight with the weak arrancar draw to a close.

Although the arrancar made a completely retarded mistake in believing the attack wouldn't reach him above ground, Grimmjow found himself captivated by the shinigami's ice based abilities.

They were breathtaking, although he was reluctant to admit it; it had to have been one of the most beautiful zanpakto's he had ever witnessed.

He let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding as the shinigami sheathed her sword and turned back to the pile of limbs next to her.

He watched as a miniscule smile graced her lips removing the previous look of concern.

He smirked once more…it was time to make him known. He allowed most of his reiatsu the ooze out of his body, which seemed to have a choking effect on the people he was observing. Taking each step slowly, allowing each to echo through the deserted alleyways, he observed the pure fear that crossed the shinigami's face. Her partner, whose orange hair stood out amazingly seemed blissfully unaware of the dire situation, as he continued to get the petit shinigami to react to his taunts.

Grimmjow let loose a dry, humorless chuckle that added to the intense atmosphere.

Rukia's blood froze as an eerie laugh filled the air. Even Ichigo finally seemed to understand that something was wrong, as both he and Rukia craned their necks around to grab a better view of the approaching danger.

Her throat ran dry as she witnessed his figure for the first time.

He could be the figure that occupied both dreams and nightmares…he had azure hair that stood by itself, giving it a gravity-defying effect, as well as a razor-sharp feel.

Along with irises that gleamed blue with either glee or bloodlust, and smirk that stretched far beyond what she could classify as 'normal'. But by far his most dangerous feature was the broken mast that occupied the right side of his jaw. It was lined with razor sharp teeth, as it also seemed to stretch into the same smirk he was wearing. She instantly could tell this was not someone to be taken lightly, so she acted as brave as she could muster.

"I wonder which one of you two is stronger?" the arrancar pondered aloud, sending off each and every panic button in Rukia's brain. Acting on impulse, she turned to Ichigo and shouted "Ichigo, Ru-"before they could even finish her sentence, the blue-haired arrancar was next to her as his hand moved towards her chest.

The world seemed to slow down, as her eyes widened in horror. She knew exactly what was going to happen as his hand inched closer to the left side of her chest, but she was unable to react.

Everything was moving so slowly… The realization eventually struck her, that no matter how much she denied it…she didn't want to die….

She had to leave her heart to somebody, she had to… before she could finish her train of thought, pain erupted in the left side of her chest.

She saw his hand enter roughly, ever so slowly reaching out and grasping the beating organ within her chest.

She couldn't even scream…it hurt, it hurt so much.

She had been critically injured countless times…but none of them compared to this…. She was in agony, as her demeanor quickly switched to pleading for death.

This was too much…she wanted it to stop…it was unbearable. If that current sensation wasn't bad enough, she felt a tugging, ever so slightly but growing worse.

It was then she realized what was about to happen…he, he was going to pull it out.

This time she couldn't stop her voice from erupting from her throat, along with a torrent of blood. Another scream tore through her throat as it got worse, as she felt the beating organ being ripped from her chest.

No words could describe it, but no matter how much she wished everything would black out and she could be set free, nothing of the sort arrived. One final scream tore through the midnight air as the organ was completely separated from her body.

Her vision began to blur, but didn't fade to her disappointment. Blood flowed endlessly into her mouth as she began to slowly choke. Peering up at the arrancar before her, he held the beating organ high above his head as the blood dripped down slowly.

Rukia caught a glimpse of the substitute shinigami's murderous expression as she allowed her body to slump over itself.

She prayed, to everything, to anything, just to make it stop.

She no longer cared if she died, just…anything to escape the agony.

The edges of her vision began to blur as she hoped the familiar darkness of unconsciousness claimed her.

She was wrong… the pain intensified.

The whole where her heart used to be seemed to be growing, seething and raging. She screamed once more…why?

Why did she had to suffer this much?

It was then that she saw a strange liquid seeping out of her wound…it was not blood, but jet black…just what the hell was happening….

Ichigo felt like he couldn't breathe, not because of the Chappy Rukia sitting on his back, no, it was the figure before him.

He knew that the arrancar in front of him was powerful, with a ridiculously high reiatsu, but he had barely time to react when Rukia shouted at him to run. It happened in less than a millisecond, Ichigo didn't even blink yet he failed to catch to movement.

The arrancar was now right beside her while appearing to punch her in the chest.

At first he was just worried because a punch from an opponent this powerful would shatter bones. It was then he realized the shape of the arrancar hand…it wasn't poised to punch, but to cut.

He was frozen, unable to move the slightest as he watched in horror as the scene unfolded before his eyes. The arrancar's hand seemed to move in slow motion as did Ichigo...

He watched helplessly as her eyes widened a fraction in the realization, but yet again, Ichigo was unable to do anything. He knew the whole event had occurred in less than a second, but he would NEVER forget the sound of Rukia's anguished scream.

The arrancar stood triumphantly, holding her beating heart above his head in a gesture of victory, as white hot anger flooded the orange haired teen. He was in the motion of charging the arrancar, when a soft whimper brought him back to reality.

Rukia had slumped over; dribbling blood as tears softly trickled down her cheek. The rage returned, never had he been so angry in his life. He was so absorbed in the rage that he failed to notice the addition of a hauntingly familiar reiatsu.

She was assaulted by a strange sensation, unlike anything she had ever felt before. It wasn't physical pain, but directly emotional.

Memories….so many memories assaulted her consciousness, but to her horror, they began to fade away, like they were never there. She tried desperately to hold on to one, any one of them to save her, but they all kept slipping through her fingers.

"No! Please!" she cried, unable to stop herself, let alone believe that she was still alive.

"Renji, Byakua Nii-sama, Ishida, Chad, Inoue...Ichigo! Don't leave me alone!" she screamed as the last memory she retained…one of Ichigo's smiling face shattered into nothingness.

The world appeared to black out around her as she was forced to relive some of the worst experiences of her previous life, and yet….she felt nothing.

Absolutely nothing, not the slightest trace of any emotion….

Happiness, regret, pride, love, friendship…. All her emotions were being swelled by the black hole where her heart used to reside. She felt completely….hollow.

Three last words echoed through the darkness as she succumb to it "Shatter Kanzen Saimin"


	2. A New Life

Pain…it was all she could remember, the white hot agony was the only feeling she could recall. The eerie darkness that surrounded her answered none of her questions, if anything it only raised more.

Who am I?

What am I?

Where is this…?

Why am I here?

Unease gripped her heart as she began to desperately search for an exit from the abyss. She felt a strange sensation tickle at her cheeks, so she raised her arm delicately brushing the substance from her face. She drew back her hand instantly as she made contact with the strange liquid….where did it come from?

She reached out once more, as a drop of the liquid rested on her fingertip. She lifted her hand to gain a closer inspection of it. It was clear, as it gleamed from some unknown light source, almost as if mocking her in that she couldn't see no 'light'.

Why was it on her face?

'_Tears'_ her mind supplied her with a name.

Tears?

Were these tears?

Why were they there?

She brushed her fingertips against her eyes one more, gaining many more tears in the process….was that where 'tears' came from?

...why?

What did they mean?

Why were they leaking from her eyes?

Was she injured?

'_Don't cry'_ an unrecognizable voice flooded her mind.

Cry?

Did that mean shedding these things called tears?

Who was that voice…?

It returned louder this time, as well accompanied by images.

There was a raven haired woman kneeling down in a Japanese style house. She wore pure black robes along with a sheathed sword by her side.

"Kuchiki!" The girl immediately shot up, staring at the figure in front of her.

He was tall with a muscular build, also wearing identical black robes with a sheathed sword. He had reasonably short, shaggy pitch black hair with a hard jaw line, giving the impression of being stern- which in turn was completely contradicted by the expression he was wearing. His smile was stretched into a wide grin as his eyes gleamed in a mixture of pride and glee.

"K-Kaien-dono!" the formerly addressed Kuchiki stuttered in response…._So, this man was Kaien_?

"Why do people cry?" he asked, while placing a comforting hand on the young girl's shoulder. She reacted instantly, flinching from the contact.

"I don't know…because they're sad?" she replied solemnly, glancing down to the ground, obviously avoiding eye-contact. The man in question sighed while rubbing his forehead at the simplicity of her answer.

"You could put it that way, but I believe we cry because we lose a piece of her heart…" he trailed off as his face turned into a tragic smile. The girl beside him remained silent, appearing to be lost in thought.

The scene suddenly changed, to clearing in the middle of a very luscious looking forest. In the centre, there were two wooden planks that the same to people sat upon eating rice cakes. The girl…no, 'Kuchiki' was eating silently with a dejected look on her face as the other was simply stuffing his mouth.

"Why am I even here?" the words left the young girl's mouth before she could stop them as she gazed defeated at her food. The other….'Kaien' her mind supplied, turned around to face her with a determined expression. He continued to chew on his food as he answered her question.

"Isn't it obvious? It's so you can fight to protect!" Kuchiki merely raised her eyebrows slightly at his response, before inquiring.

"Protect? Protect what?" Kaien sighed as he continued munching his food.

"What? Uh… Well, a bunch of things…" he trailed off, focusing on finishing his snack.

Kuchiki visibly sweat dropped as she muttered "That answer is too vague…Couldn't you give me a clearer explanation?" Kaien quirked his eyebrows, as he removed the remnants of his meal from his fingers.

"A clear answer, huh?" he muttered. He moved to stand; brushing the crumbs of his robes in the process he gazed away from the girl and asked her "Kuchiki, have you ever heard our captain's view on life?"

"No…" she responded timidly, glancing down at her uneaten food feeling a twinge of shame.

"There are two types of battles. Battles to protect life, and battles to protect your pride. That's captain Ukitake's opinion.

But personally, Kuchiki, I think that in the end, you're protecting the exact same thing."

"The same thing? What's that?" she questioned.

He turned his head around slightly, smirking at her as he answered plainly and simply "Your heart."

Kuchiki's eyes widened slightly before frowning as a playful smile ghosted her lips. "That's so lame…" she muttered mostly to herself, but loud enough that he could hear it. He instantly turned to her scowling fiercely and shouting as a retort "Come on! I'm being serious here!" Kuchiki sighed, her expression returning back to a somber one.

"Okay Kuchiki, let me ask you. Where do you think your heart is?"

She rubbed her chin, thoughtfully, trying to think up a reasonable answer. "It's…umm…around here, right?" she asked, bringing her hand up to the left side of her chest. He smirked at her response, while returning once more to where she was sitting.

"Maybe.." he commented with a flick of his wrist. "I say the heart can be found right here." He replied, reaching out and grabbing the space between the two.

"When we meet, a bond between us is born for the first time. Our hearts aren't inside our bodies. When we think about something, or care about someone, that is where our hearts are born. If you were the only person in the entire world, then your heart wouldn't be anywhere.

There's nothing to worry about. If you wish with all your heart to stay here, then your heart will remain here.

Listen Kuchiki, in the fights to come, there's one thing you must never, ever do.

Don't die alone.

Our bodies are our souls themselves. When we die, our bodies will turn to dust and become to spirit particles that form Soul Society.

Where will our hearts go then?

We entrust our hearts to our friends."

"Entrust our hearts to our friends…?"

"If you entrust your heart to your friends, it will continue to live on inside of them.

So Kuchiki…don't you dare die alone.

Got it? Kuchiki?"

The picture began to fade rapidly, leaving only endless darkness in its wake.

"Don't die alone, huh?" she whispered to herself, as she began to look around. It didn't appear that anyone else was trapped…so if this was 'dying' did that mean she was breaking that oath? No, she couldn't let that happen. It was the only memory she could hold on to, and she wouldn't break it. With that resolve, the darkness began to ebb away bit by bit as the previously dark chasm exploded with light.

It was far, far too bright and she had to close her eyes in the worry of going blind. She peeled her eyelids open once more, although this time it was much more bearable.

She stared at what looked like a plain white ceiling above her. She blinked rapidly, trying to discern the situation. With a little effort, she managed to prop herself up into a sitting position so that she could gain a better view of the room. It was fairy bare and empty, only having one simply, white bed along with a small nightstand next to it.

There were two doorways, one much larger than the other so she guessed that the larger must lead to the outside. Her eyes trailed around the room until they landed on something she could hardly believe she missed earlier. There was one singular desk in the room in the far left corner, along with one stool; alas that was not where her attention was directed.

No, it was at the blue haired man that was currently slumped over said desk snoozing quietly. For some reason, she felt a familiarity with the figure before her, as if they had met before.

She glanced around at his facial features and found herself staring at a bone white mask that traced his right jaw line. She could tell that it may give some people the creeps, but she was just fascinated with it. She wondered if it could move. Curiosity struck her as she slipped silently out of bed and tippy toed towards the sleeping figure.

She inched closer until she was only a meter away. She was so close that she could feel his breath against her cheeks, which made her face heat up to form a crimson blush. She edged closer as she outstretched her hand.

She began to pay attention to the small sounds he was emitting.

She almost collapsed right then and there from laughter as she could swear, he was purring in his sleep.

She dropped her hand, creeping back to her bed soundlessly. He looked so…serene asleep like that, and she didn't have the heart to disturb him. Wordlessly she slipped underneath the blankets and stared at the ceiling, trying desperately to retrieve any other memories she had lost. Most prominently of all, she wanted to know just who this man, snoozing in her room was, and what her relationship with him was. She couldn't hide the smirk that spread across her face just thinking about it, but no matter what she tried, she couldn't help feel like something was…off. It was if a whole chunk of her life had gone missing, which she didn't doubt it had.

It had only been 10 minutes until she heard rustling and shuffling coming from the other end of the room. She sat up instantly, observing the scene intently. The blue haired man yawned lazily while blinking a few times. He glanced quickly over to the girl then back to the desk…then back to the girl as his eyes widened.

"What the hell are you doing awake?" he blurted out, unable to disguise his shock. To his surprise, she started to giggle at him while childishly pointing a finger at his outburst.

"Shut up!" he growled, lowering his voice dangerously. Just because she was no longer a shinigami, didn't mean he no longer found the brat annoying. He watched as the playful gleam in her eyes disappeared as was replaced with a determined one, much like the one he's seen when she battled the arrancar. It was obvious she wanted something, but he had yet to decipher what. She pointed to herself inquisitively, before asking a question he couldn't believe he just heard.

"Kuchiki?"

The blue haired man shook he head gruffly before retorting "Yes…well, err, not anymore." She tilted her head to the side as her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Glancing back up at him, her expression soon turned into a pleading look. Damn, she could do puppy-dog eyes well…god, just how old was she?

"You used to be called Kuchiki Rukia, but now you're not a shi-…" he stopped himself before he revealed something stupid. She had obviously suffered from memory loss…surely it would be better if she didn't remember who she used to be, seeing as it was now impossible for her to return to that life… She nodded mutely, taking in all the information she could.

"You're the new 10th Espada." He remarked, as she again, nodded mutely with an expressionless gaze.

"Espada?" she asked, curious to what exactly that was. I mean, if she was one of them, she might as well learn just what she was.

"Are you stupid or somthin'?" He snapped in response, unsure of what exactly to tell her. Did she even know about hollows? He sighed again once he realized she had no clue what he was talking about.

He began to explain about hollows, shinigami, Gillian's, arrancar, Aizen and everything about the war. To his surprise, when he came to the part about 'plus sprits' and hollows, she began frantically running around the room in search of something.

He raised an eyebrow at her antics until she eventually came across the object she had been searching for. She managed to find a marker along with a clean sheet of paper as she began to scribble furiously. Grimmjow couldn't help but be slightly interested in what had captured 100% of the new Arrancar's attention.

Peering over her shoulder, he couldn't help but burst into uncontrollable laughter. He was swiftly rewarded with a kick to the shin, yet it did little to stop his laughter. It looked like…he wasn't actually sure just what the hell it looked like.

Killer rabbits perhaps?

Just what in the hell was she drawing?

Time began to drag on as she worked intently on her 'masterpiece' as Grimmjow attempted to wait for her to finish. Patience was never his strong suit, and he was finding it particularly hard with her.

Eventually she finished as she proudly held the picture up to Grimmjow, who again doubled over in laughter. On one side of the page, there was something that looked like a bunny gone horribly wrong. It had a mess of orange at the top of its head, along with a scowl and a sword 3 times its size.

Realization struck, as he worked out that this must be the substitute shinigami he wanted to fight. His eyes then rested on the second figure, which to his horror, looked like a miniature version of himself.

His 'self portrait' was as crudely drawn as the last, having a blotch of blue for 'hair' but instead of being a bunny…he was a…a...Cat? His figure had its paws raised and appeared to be chasing after the orange haired rabbit. He smirked, despite himself….

"So I'm the new 10th Espada?" she asked suddenly. Grimmjow was surprised, that was the most she had talked in the whole period she had been awake. He nodded silently before she persisted.

"Who was the last 10th Espada?" Grimmjow searched his memories for the old one…what happened to him again?

"Oh yeah! It was the idiot Yammy…I think he was removed, or something along those lines." It was her turn to nod silently taking in all the information she could.

"Oh, by the way, we have to go meet Aizen shortly." He added, still unwilling to call him 'sama'. It was entirely that bastards fault he was stuck with this stupid mission...babysitting? Just what the hell was that guy thinking? Why should an Espada have to babysit some…Some random ex-shinigami? It didn't make any sense.

"Why did I have to get stuck in a mission with you…" he groaned as she attempted to whack him for his insult. He managed to catch her elbow in time, but if he hadn't, the spot where she had been aiming…let's just leave it at it would have been extreeemly painful.

"Oh? Is the big powerful Espada not strong enough to babysit a newbie?" she snorted while eying him playfully.

"Shut up!" he snarled, somehow this ex-shinigami managed to get under his skin like no other.

"That's not it; it's just a stupid mission for an Espada. I mean fraccion sure, but an Espada? What is so important about you anyway?" he snapped, pleased with how intelligent his retort sounded.

"I think this is just too much of a challenge for you, Kitty." She smirked at the enraged expression that crossed his face when she used his new nickname.

"KITTY? WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET THAT NAME, BITCH?" he shouted so loudly, she was pretty sure that not only the whole of Las Notches heard, but it also shattered both her eardrums. The smug smirk still hadn't left her face, if anything, it grew even wider at his reaction.

"Well, you didn't tell me your name, and your mask reminds me of a kitty." She replied calmly adding mentally _'and you purr when you sleep'_.

"A KITTEN? Are you serious? Are you sure your brain is wired correctly, because I don't see the connection between razor sharp fangs and kittens!" She couldn't contain the laughter that she had been holding for so long as she fell on the bed rolling around in the sheets.

"You're so funny when you're angry, K-i-t-t-y" she retorted, purposefully elongating the last word almost sending the poor 6th Espada into a frenzy. It was a miracle that she didn't die right then and there, but somehow, he managed to contain himself enough to snap back at her.

"Fine then, my name is Grimmjow Jaggerjaques. We have a meeting to attend to so get changed and follow me."

With that, he turned around and stomped out the door, waiting outside seeing as he had to escort her to the damned place.

He growled at the realization that this actually may be the most difficult mission of his life.


	3. Realizations

**Author's Note: I've decided to make this a Grimm/Rukia fic, because well I love that pairing. Anyway, on with the show, please read and review to let me know what you think.**

Chapter 3

Rukia couldn't help but smirk as the door slammed in front of her, resounding in an echoing bang that bounced off the walls.

She wasn't 100% sure why she acted the way she did around him, but it just felt so natural that she couldn't deny it. It was odd from her perspective, especially judging from the blue-haired Espada's attitude; he wasn't someone to be taken lightly, nor someone to rub the wrong way.

And yet, she still found herself intently exploring the depths of his patience, which she immediately discovered, didn't run very deep. He actually looked like he was about to explode at her last remark about being a kitty, alas he managed to contain himself and just stormed out instead.

Not before giving her his name though….Grimmjow Jaggerjaques… she sniggered to herself quietly…his actual name still reminded her of a kitty.

What was the other thing he said?

Oh, right, a meeting with this Aizen. It sounded interesting, especially from the rather…colorful language Grimmjow used to describe him.

She instantly picked up that he didn't 'like' him parse, nor did he enjoy the idea of having a shinigami rule over Hueco Mundo, and yet he appeared to respect him none the less. Rukia reasoned it was either respect, or just plain fear seeing that this shinigami seemed to hold the whole world in the palm of his hand.

Yes…this 'meeting' would be interesting indeed.

Realizing she had been sitting on her bed for almost 10 minutes without doing anything, which would undeniably enrage the blue-haired Espada given the job of escorting her, she decided it would be best to get on her way.

She stood up briskly, striding towards the larger doors as she remembered that Grimmjow also mentioned something else… 'Get changed?' what did that mean?

Frowning, she walked over to the other set of doors, determined to find the meaning of that word. She opened them cautiously, and was not too surprised to find a plain white bathroom on the other side. It was simple, but she liked it.

It consisted of one toilet and sink, as well as a small shower on the other side. The sink had a large mirror hanging above it, as well as a small bench below it that appeared to be covered in….something.

Curiosity got the better of her as she pondered over, reaching out to the strange object on said bench. She slowly pulled whatever it was up as it unfolded as it fell to the ground beneath her. She eyed it intently, wary of any possible dangers, yet she quickly came to the conclusion there was nothing to worry about.

She picked up the white fabric one more, noticing it actually had a shape….sort-of, along with blank linings.

She gasped as her vision trailed back to her hands, observing tattered black cloth that could have been the remnants of a robe. She stood once more, clinging onto the white garment as she studied herself in the mirror for the first time.

She noticed that she was wearing a black robe, identical to the one she was in her memories, yet this time it was tattered, torn and stained with blood in multiple places.

She glanced down once more at the fabric she was holding until the realization struck that what she was holding looked almost identical to what Grimmjow had on.

So this was what she was meant to change into?

Interesting…

She ripped off the remnants of the black robe which she had been wearing while taking the time to stare at herself through the mirror. She somehow knew it was there, but it didn't stop her gasping as she slowly raised her hand to the left side of her chest.

Underneath the robe, she was covered in bandages, yet the left side of her chest, there was nothing but a hole. She eyed it closely, curious to see what it felt like.

True, Grimmjow had explained that all hollows had a hole somewhere in their body, but it didn't answer any of her questions about what it felt like. Her mind slowly drifted back to the memories she recovered earlier…the ones in particular of her pointing to the left side of her chest.

She literally didn't have a heart?..

It was…weird.

Even without that vital organ, she couldn't say she found herself devoid of emotion like she expected.

True, at first she felt completely hollow, but after meeting the blue haired Espada...it didn't feel like she was hollow in the slightest.

Hell, there were too many emotions running through her head to even count….Her mind drifted back to the memory where Kaien explained his thoughts on the 'heart', as Rukia smiled softly at the memory.

Did that mean she and Grimmjow had a bond, creating a heart between them?

Her smile widened as she found herself enjoying an emotion that was completely new to her…happiness?

She wasn't sure, but her nonexistent heart swelled at the mere thought.

Realizing she had been procrastinating once more, and probably wasted another 10 minutes doing so, she couldn't wait to see the enraged look on his face once she finished 'changing'.

Holding out the fabric in front of her, she began to find out where each piece went and so the agonizingly frustrating task of 'dressing' began.

She finished not long after, but was scowling at how uncomfortable it felt. Looking in the mirror once more, she realized why...she must have gotten the top part backwards because it felt completely wrong.

Slipping her arms inside the holes, she swiveled around popping them back out again.

There, it felt much better this time, and looked it too. She stared into the mirror studying every detail of her image with a scrutinizing eye.

The first thing she noted was that she may be considered….well, vertically challenged, seeing as she was about eye level with the base of the mirror, not improving her sour mood.

She scowled, using the sink to stand and gain a better perspective of what she was wearing. She had long, loose pants that were attached to her wait with a white sash. She was wearing black socks along with white strapping and a strong base. Her jacket left the most part of her mid-section exposed, with the exception of her upper chest where the jacket connected as the black lines ran together. It had long sleeves which snaked down past her fingers as it was slightly too long.

She then paid close attention to her face. It was harder, more mature than it appeared in the memory, obviously darkened from the horrors she had faced. Her eyes gleamed with excitement as their amethyst orbs managed to get into a starting contest with the mirror image of herself.

Lastly, she gazed up at her raven hair that was still cut into the same style as it was in the memory, if not slightly longer. Yet as she looked up, that's not where her attention was directed.

No, it was on the mask that rested on the top of her head. She beamed once she saw it; she hadn't even felt it before, as if it was a part of her. She knew that it was, but she couldn't believe how cool it looked. It appeared to be the top jaw the skull of a beast, judging by the elongated fangs that hovered in front of her forehead. Its expression seemed to be stretched into some maniac grin as its hollow eyes still managed to give the impression of insanity. She noticed it had short snout along with two small holes which she guessed were its noses.

In all, she was very impressed, as she studied the two horns that extended slightly past her forehead and ended in wicked points. She grinned at the thought of head butting something…or someone…

She really wondered what her released form would look like, as she began to ponder over it once more.

A loud banging interrupted her thoughts as she realized '_oh shit…Grimmjow still outside_…'

Jumping off the sink, she sprinted towards the door barreling out, into the blue haired Espada in the process. She groaned in frustration as she rubbed her mask in an attempt to soothe the throbbing pain.

It took almost 5 seconds for the sexta Espada to realize just what the hell had happened. The damn woman had taken long enough, as he finally lost his patience; he decided to drag her out.

He only had the time to knock twice, before she barreled out the door, head butting him in the process. Now, usually a head butt wouldn't be much of a problem, but because of her mask, and the very sharp horns, it goddamn hurt!

He growled, prying her off his person as they both stood shakily.

Luckily for him, she had at least worked out how to change clothes, and he had to admit, they looked a lot better on her than she did in that shinigami outfit. Grimmjow, fed up from waiting for the newbie, stalked off towards the meeting hall.

She followed immediately with hundreds of thoughts running through her mind.

"Hey, Kit-" before she could finish his nickname, he had whipped around holding his fist in the air as his scowl deepened. She responded by waving her arms in the air innocently and sniggering. He just didn't get this girl, any other arrancar would be running like hell or pleading for dear life, yet she stood in front of him, completely unphased by his death threat.

"Okay, Grimmjow then. Yeesh, don't have to get so riled up when I call you Kitty." She smirked as he shuddered at the nickname. A low growl escaped his throat which managed to send her into a fit of laughter.

"You just growled! How can you deny being at least related to a kitten! Next thing you know, you'll be hissing!"

Okay.

Screw the mission, she was going to die!

He lunged at her as she dodged just as swiftly, jumping to the side to avoid the blow. He snarled, but didn't attempt again.

His eyes widened slightly as he remembered her and the orange haired shinigami arguing…yes, if he remembered correctly, she had a short fuse when it came to remarks directed at her height..

"Whatever, let's just get to the meeting…midget." That comment hit hard as she growled back at his with her fists clenched. Her eyes flared with rage as he ran off towards the meeting.

Sure, he wasn't even running half of what he was capable of, but he knew the look in her eyes promised a painful death if she caught up.

Eventually, he came to a halt in front of the arched doorway that lead to Aizen's 'throne'. She arrived short after, glaring at him but then focusing her attention on the doorway.

"I'm not short, kitty." She snarled as he sighed in mock frustration.

"It's not my fault you're not tall enough to see that I'm not a kitten."

She lunged once more, but he was quick to push open the doors into a pitch black room, where the only light source was a man sitting on a large white chair in the centre. Rukia couldn't help but gasp; it looked magnificent as she began to wonder in the room, unaware of where here feet were taking her.

Grimmjow allowed the doorway to close in front of him as he sighed and slumped against the white hallway walls. He had to wait for that damn brat to come back, so he could take her to her room. The worst part was he could actually feeling himself drawn to the damn midget. It wasn't like he enjoyed her company in the slightest, right? Sighing, he placed his head in his hands and allowed his thoughts to travel elsewhere, yet the raven haired Espada's image never left his mind.

The man that sat in front of her was intimidating, to say the least. Behind his kind smile and caring eyes, she could see cold emptiness that she had only seen before in hollows. He had simple brown hair and was wearing a white uniform similar to the other arrancar, at first glance, he could be considered somewhere along the lines of 'normal'.

Hell, who was she kidding?

If one couldn't see past his eyes, this man could have defined the word 'normal'.

Coming from a world where hollows were a common occurrence, shinigami's also had their own definition of the word, and yet this man belonged to both worlds and still fit the description perfectly.

"A-Aizen." She stuttered, aware of how pathetic it sounded.

"Kuchiki Rukia." He replied in a hauntingly calm voice, as his smile widened slightly.

"What do you require of me?" she asked, digging straight to the point. The company of this man was not something she sought, as she actually found herself wishing Grimmjow was still with her.

"I was just going to ask you a simple question Rukia-chan." She despised the name rolled of his lips as it sent shivers down her spine.

"Well? Go ahead, ask it?" She knew she probably shouldn't be treating this man so rudely, but somehow, she couldn't bring herself to even try to be polite with him.

"Would you like…to see your past?" She gaped; sure she had suspicions of what she used to be, but him actually offering her to see it?

Was she dreaming?

She bit her lip fiercely to test, but she quickly determined that it was indeed reality when she felt a sharp pain and a metallic liquid fill her mouth.

She nodded shakily as he gestured her to move to where he was sitting.

She did as she was told, taking one step at a time towards where he was sitting. Once she was only a step away, he held up is hand, gesturing for her to stop. He then began fumbling around for something, until he pulled what looked like a glowing cube from his robe.

"Place your hand on this, and you will remember everything." He muttered as she drew her hand closer and closer to the object. Eventually, her fingertips brushed it as she was dragged from the room, and turning into a hovering spirit.

She watched as the child version of her lived in poverty.

She watched the beatings of her childhood and her hopeless life until she met Renji.

She watched as the friends she made began to die one by one.

She watched as she joined the shinigami academy and began to work towards becoming useful.

She watched as she was adopted into the Kuchiki family leaving Renji behind.

She watched as the rumors spread and the hateful discussions behind her back raged on without halt.

She watched as she made it into the 13 Protective Squads, and was placed under Shiba Kaien.

She watched as the admiration grew for her superior.

She watched as her heart was shattered the night he was forced to slay him.

She watched as her heart never mended and the guilt rampaged inside her unchecked, as more rumors spread.

She watched as she left for the living world, and met the orange haired human boy who resembled her lost vice captain.

She watched herself bicker with him, and eventually form an unbreakable bond.

She watched the same boy fight the Grand fisher and live, as the heavens split open in mourning.

She watched as she was taken back to soul society as once again, the rain poured down.

She watched herself sit in the execution tower, waiting patiently for death.

She watched as mere days before her execution, two people appeared to save her.

She watched as one accused her of murdering his brother, which in truth, she had.

She watched herself lose the will to live.

She watched the flames of the phoenix threaten to erase her existence.

She watched as the carrot-top intercepted the blow and saved her.

She watched as he left with the rest of his friends back to the living world.

She watched as information regarding the arrancar was passed out as she returned back to the boy with the orange hair.

She watched him lose the will to fight, after finding out about his inner hollow.

She watched as she hardened his resolve to protect.

She watched as she battled that arrancar that faithful night with the blue haired Espada lurking in the shadows.

She watched as her beating heart was ripped from her chest, as she was slung over the Espada's retreating shoulders.

She watched Aizen appear and activate his shikai on the whole town.

She watched once again, as the heavens split open in sorrow.

She drew back, panting heavily at all the memories she had just witnessed. It was raining…always raining…..Even after seeing her memories…she felt nothing.

She had watched her life fly by, but she didn't feel anything.

Did the removal of her heart break the bonds she shared towards those people?

Why…why didn't she feel for them?

She felt a wet substance trickle down her cheeks….Tears?

'_I think we cry when we lose a piece of our heart_'.

Did she lose a piece of her heart?

Is that why they streamed down her cheek?

She wasn't sure… "Why….why would you show me?" she muttered to the extravagant form of Aizen.

"So you can see, what you are, what you used to be….and now…I'll show you, what you're going to become."

She nodded mutely, somehow, the only emotions she retained were those connected to a certain Blue haired Espada…

Even after seeing what he did, she knew she should be angry, she should hate the bastard!

And yet….she didn't.

She wasn't even angry towards him….is this what it felt like to lose your heart?

Was it because…the only heart she had left was the bond between her and him?

She didn't know…. She just prayed that it was never broken, because without that…she was sure she would lose the last piece of who she was.

"Who I'll become?" she sputtered weakly, on her hands and knees due to the memories.

He nodded before to her surprise, handing her the hogyoku. She watched as it slipped slowly into her hand and began to once again, return to its previous resting place within her soul.

"Why…" she managed to croak, as the process was draining her energy considerably.

"Simple. It only has one master, the one who bonded with it first, which is you. If you were to die, it would not simple bond with a new master, but go on a rampage. You are the only one to control it." She nodded weekly, though his explanation made no sense.

"Why…why would you trust me with it? Why would you openly give it away?" He chuckled at her response.

"It's simple…you can see it to…Even if you betray me and run off, it will do nothing. You are an arrancar, and returning to Soul Society would only get you killed. Shinigami's exist to 'save' hollows do they not? So tell me, Rukia. Do you 'want' to be saved?"

Realization struck and it struck hard…All those years ago, Kaien had taught her an important lesson which she had rejected because that was what she was taught to believe by the acadamy.

'_Hollows were evil.'_

'_Hollows were just animals that existed to devour souls.' _

'_Hollows…couldn't feel….'_

All of her assumptions had been dead wrong…even if they didn't possess a heart, much like she didn't now…it didn't mean they couldn't feel.

One doesn't require a heart to feel…maybe some chose not to feel because it would bring to much pain… it was a tough realization to accept, but it began to sink in. She stood shakily and began to wander out of the dark.

A faint "Thank you, Aizen…" echoed throughout the room as said man smirked to himself.


	4. Denial

Chapter 4

Grimmjow was brought out of his for once, peaceful slumber as he heard the doors next to him creak open. To his surprise, a shuddering Rukia dragged herself out obviously finding it difficult to stand. The instant the doors fell closed; she fell to her knees grasping the ground.

He wasn't quite sure what to do, having never been in a situation anything like this before.

Was he meant to talk to her?

Was he meant to help her?

Maybe.

He grunted, pushing himself up before walking over to where she had collapsed. He could hear her take multiple sharp breaths, as if she was in immense pain, which if he was to be completely honest actually worried him.

Why would she be in pain?

It was just a meeting, right?

Wait, wait, wait, why did he even care?

He scowled, shaking his head clear of the confusing thoughts that seemed to swirl endlessly round and round. Sighing, he decided she would need to get back to her room, and she didn't appear to be in the best condition to make it alone. Seeing as it was his original mission to escort her, he decided on helping her out.

Yes, it was only because it was his mission, absolutely nothing else.

He grasped her arm roughly, before slinging it over his shoulder as gently as he could, which again, to most people would still seem rough and careless. She obliged by draping her other arm around his shoulder and proceeding to screw her eyes shut. Grimmjow began to walk back to her room as he felt her shivering against his back.

Was she cold?

Once again, he found himself confronted with a situation he'd never encountered before, forcing him to do one of the things he was never….'great' at- improvise.

Slowly, he changed his grip on her arm slightly, before pulling her shoulder over his so she toppled forward. He caught her with ease as he broke into a run towards her room, all the while carrying her bridal style.

"Damn, you're so much trouble midget." He muttered in-between breaths. Her lips twitched upward slightly, indicating that she heard his remark but was in no position to retort. In no time, he bashes open the doors before striding over to the single bed. With as much care as he could muster, he plopped her onto her bed before standing back up and scowling deeply.

"Yeesh, you've caused me so much trouble tonight, midget."

True, unofficially he had decided her new name was midget, and because he had yet to receive an elbow to the face, he had every right to assume that she was ok with it…yeah...right. He knew just how much it pissed her off, and that was exactly why he decided upon it…that and well….she really was a midget.

He just prayed she wouldn't start calling him kitty again…god he hated that nickname.

"Grimmjow…" his name being called out brought him back to the situation at hand.

"I remember."

Those two words made his brain freeze.

She remembered?

She remembered everything that happened, including him well….ripping her heart out?

Did she hate him?

Damn, it happened again, why should he care if she hates him!

It's better that way.

He gazed down at her amethyst eyes as he began to lose himself in their depths. He saw endless emotions swirling around giving her eyes a glazed appearance, and yet….hate was not among them. As if reading his thoughts she spoke softly.

"No, I don't hate you. I just….don't understand…" Grimmjow couldn't help but raise an eyebrow.

"What don't ya' get? Don't tell me your brain is like your height and stopped growing too early." He snickered but received an elbow to the groin in response.

"Midget!" he roared, while clutching 'that' area tenderly…god that hurt.

"Idiot…What I don't get is why I can't feel them." He lifted his head at this as his jaw dropped slightly, giving him an appearance of a fish out of water.

"Care to explain?" he asked, attempting to walk over to the desk to grab the chair. It was still rather difficult seeing as a certain area was excruciatingly painful thanks to a certain midget… he grabbed the chair and dragged it next to her bed before taking a seat slowly. She was fidgeting her thumbs and glancing anywhere but his eyes.

"Spit it out, midget." She growled at her new nickname, attempting to land a hit on the back of his head, though he was fast enough to dodge it….just.

"It's just…back, back before I woke up. There was one memory that played through my head, and it was the only thing I could hold on to. It was so real, and I remember what I felt exactly as the memory was playing… and yet….before, with Aizen. He, he offered to show me my memories….I accepted of course, but as I was watching them, it felt…different. It felt as exactly that, I was just watching them, I can't remember what I felt, or why I smiled, or frowned. It feels as if the memories are there…but at the same time they're not…."

Grimmjow rubbed the back of his head as he struck a thoughtful pose. He honestly had no idea what she was getting at, and decided not to let it show.

She might think he was an idiot! Wait, why did he care again?

Damn it, he wasn't meant to care what she thought.

Bad Grimmjow…he mentally scolded himself while the raven-haired arrancar just sat watching him expectantly.

It took him a moment to grasp that she was awaiting a response.

"Ah, well um... I think…you should just sleep on it, and it'll be clearer tomorrow." He attempted a smile, but it came out as a backwards frown.

True, a backwards frown should technically be a smile, but yet even with the corners of his lips twitched up; he still managed to pull off a scowl.

Rukia raised an eyebrow at his expression; it was like he was trying to offer her some reassurance…the key word there was trying.

She laughed on the inside at his expression, but decided to keep silent for the time being. In truth, she was actually grateful he was spending time with her and…'reassuring' her and taking her mind of…other things.

She would never admit it out loud, but she enjoyed his company.

She realized this time it was him waiting for her response so she nodded curtly before flopping back down to gain some well earned rest.

Grimmjow could feel something weird happening to his face…it was moving on its own! He sat there for a minute trying to figure out just what the hell was going on, before he realized that HE, Grimmjow Jaggerjaques, the sixth freaking Espada, was SMILING.

No, not scowling, frowning or sighing.

Not smirking out of bloodlust, and not even the slightest bit sadistic, but in…happiness?

What the hell was this girl doing to him!

He scoffed, when they trained together, he was so going to make her pay.

Halt….they were going to train together?

When did his brain decide that?

He snarled as his expression once again turned into a scowl. He didn't know exactly what was going on with him, but he knew it was all this 'Kuchiki Rukia's' fault.

"Gin, you can come out now." Aizen remarked casually, while taking another sip of his tea. Footsteps echoed throughout the dark room as said man drew closer, still wearing his eerie 'smile'.

"Why'd ya do that, captain?" Aizen allowed a smirk to cross his features as he ran his hand through his hair.

"So she doesn't remember." He replied simply, taking another sip of his beverage. Gin tilted his head to the side slightly, thoroughly confused as to what to make of the 'explanation'.

"But didn't ya just show lil' Rukia-chan her memories?" Aizen chuckled at this while nodding slowly.

"I did exactly that Gin. I showed her, so she wouldn't remember." Gin once again was slightly confused as to what exactly he meant. Surely they were the same thing?

"Did you tamper with the memories or somthin'?" He asked, trying to probe for some sort of hint.

"No, they were 100% her real memories." Gin actually opened his eyes into slits as the cold, crimson orbs shone in the darkness.

"Then why? Surely she'll just betray us now. Dontcha' know?" Aizen shook his head slowly, once again reaching for his soothing drink.

"She won't, because she doesn't have a reason to. And besides, even if she did, she would have nowhere to go. As an arrancar, she would be hunted endlessly by soul society, and if she stayed in Hueco Mundo, what would be the point? Now Gin…do you know the difference in remembering events, and being shown them?"

Gin shook his head slowly in response as Aizen continued on with an air of smugness.

"The difference is when you do not possess the memory, only 'watch' it, you can't 'feel' it to say. Even if you're shown and you know what the memories were, you don't remember them, and therefore, you don't remember how you felt. You don't remember what it felt like to be with the people in the memory, you can't tell if you were happy or say or angry, you become a spectator in your own life…You see Gin, that's why I showed her. If she knows what happened, she won't try to remember the feelings, and therefore, the bonds will weaken until they disappear completely."

Gin's smile widened at the explanation, if that was possible seeing as it already stretched from ear to ear.

"That's somthin' you got goin' there, ain't it? My, my, what else are you goin' to put dear Rukia-chan through?" Aizen simply smiled, finishing off his tea.

"Much, much more Gin. As of tomorrow, she gets to watch as her 'friends' mistake the illusion in place of her. She can watch and see how much they actually know her…" he trailed off, playing with the stray strand of hair that rested on his forehead.

"Now, the fun really begins…"

Ichigo looked like hell.

Literally.

After their group's encounter with Grimmjow and the other arrancar, it felt as though control of his own body was slipping through his fingers.

The nightmares weren't helping either…

He watched the scene unable to react in time, as Grimmjow used some sort of flash step, and then proceeded to dig his hand into Rukia's stomach. He had gone enraged, and charged wildly, fighting…Well not really, just plain old getting his ass kicked for the next ten minutes.

For some reason, an ex captain had appeared, dragging Grimmjow back into Hueco Mundo. He still remembered crouching over Rukia's body, watching helplessly as Inoue attempted to heal her. True, she succeeded in bringing the raven-haired shinigami back to life, but Ichigo felt a tremendous guilt knowing what happened was his fault.

With this in mind, he set off to find the Vizard's, which he managed to without too much of a struggle.

He hoped…well more like prayed that by going there, the nightmares would stop.

They didn't.

Every single time, it would be the same scene. The same one he encountered before, except that Grimmjow didn't just punch a hole in her, he ripped her beating heart out. He didn't understand why it just kept coming back, and it felt so real to! If they didn't stop, he was sure he was going to go insane.

Ever since they began, he found himself checking up on Rukia more than usual, and on the outside she seemed fine, yet he couldn't stop feeling like something was wrong.

Even training with the Vizard's did little to stop the worries gnawing at his consciousness.

"Aizen said to give you this." Grunted a frustrated looking Grimmjow.

He had been asleep until minutes earlier, still waiting for Rukia to wake up. It had been almost two days since the meeting with Aizen, and she had still to wake.

Concern continued to seep into his heart, and found himself rarely leaving her side. In fact, the meeting with Aizen was only the second time since she fell asleep.

The first was to ward off that sick bastard, Nnoitora who seemed to have an interest in the unconscious girl. Grimmjow didn't know what it was, but the thought of Nnoitora with her, made him feel horrible. A small voice in the back of his mind continued to remind him that it was '_jealousy'_, and….that voice could just go to hell.

There was no WAY he was jealous…or concerned.

No, it was just a mission…just a mission.

He continued to tell himself that, but no matter how many times he said it, it still didn't feel right.

He was resting until a maid called for him to meet with Aizen. Now, being who he was, he wasn't all that eager to talk with that shinigami dictator, but did his best to hide his animosity.

The orders had been simple.

'Take this orb, give it to Rukia when she wakes, and tell her she can view her friends.' Simple enough, and yet…he found himself not wanting her to see them…to even think about them!

She wasn't like them anymore, so why had Aizen done this?

Surely this would just make it harder for her?

He sighed once more, snapping back to the present. Because fate hated him, she had of COURSE woken up in the 10 minutes he was out of the room.

_**Just my luck! **_

"What is it?" she slurred, her voice thick with sleep having been unused in days. Grimmjow scratched the back of his head thoughtfully, trying to decide whether to tell her the truth. He made his decision, but not before choosing to gain something out of it…

"Ah, well it lets us view what you're….'friends' are doin'" He responded, passing the orb to her carefully. She nodded, eyes wide with wonder all the while twinkling merrily.

_Cute_

….wait, what? There's no way that midget looks cute! Ugh, I need sleep.

Seeing his conflicted expression, she grinned before patting the spot next to her and moving over slightly. She picked up on the use of the word 'us', as well as his nervous expression as she guessed that he wasn't meant to watch it with her. She didn't mind though, in fact, she would have asked him to join her if he hadn't asked first.

You see, even though she was unconscious the whole time, she felt his reitsu next to her the whole time. Most people would find it frightening, very wild and untamed, randomly bursting with energy one moment before collapsing the next, yet she found it comforting.

He complied and moved to sit down next to her. The bed was surprisingly warm, as he now occupied more than half.

"Let's give it a go." She encouraged, before holding out the glowing object in front of her.

Grimmjow couldn't stop the genuine smile from spreading across his face as he grabbed it too, coincidentally placing both his hand around hers.


	5. Dying on the Inside

**Author's Note: Wow, slow update, sorry. By the way, I'm utterly terrible at writing anything along the lines of 'Romance' so excuse my sorry excuse for a 'Romantic Moment'. The part with Kon may seem slightly wrong, but having just watched the third movie 'Fade to Black'- in which he was the ONLY one never to forget her, it seemed appropriate. Anyway, thanks for reading, see you next time!**

Chapter 5

"Amazing..." she muttered quietly, taking in all the new sights and feelings.

The two Espada were hurtling through a long, darkened tunnel at what felt like an impossible speed. She could hear the wind whistling past her ears in a low howl, as well as it caress her hair and face as it rushed past. This was yet another sensation she found herself loving every second of.

It felt like she was…flying.

Sure, through her memories she had seen herself in a position similar to this multiple times, but the real thing was so much better!

Nothing could compare to the sounds and the feel of being there right in that moment. She felt almost…alive.

Hah!

That thought made her chuckle.

Alive?

Really?

Hell, she wasn't even 'alive' when she became a hollow.

Wait…does that mean she died twice?

Hmm, she remembered the orange haired boy's teacher giving a lecture about mathematics….double negatives was it?

Did it work the same way?

Does this mean she is alive?

She would have jumped for joy if she was able, but a small giggle found its way out of her throat none the less. More memories came flooding back. Still, they lacked the emotion, but she sure was curious. The way these 'friends' and she spoke, the way they interacted, were all….interesting.

An image of a bright-haired rough looking boy appeared.

He looked familiar… the way his permanent scowl creased his forehead, the way his chocolate-brown eyes shone in determination….even the way his scowl was almost twisted into a slight smile….almost. He looked so damn familiar it was irritating.

Sure, she had watched the memories, and she and this boy had been though a lot…but still. She couldn't remember what it FELT like, she couldn't remember the way her name rolled off his tongue, nor the way his reitsu would subconsciously comfort her in a warm fuzzy haze when she needed it.

No, she couldn't remember…anything.

But she wanted to.

"Oy, stop spacing out, we're here." A gruff voice broke through her thoughts as she blinked multiple times in rapid succession.

"Wha…" she trailed off, glancing around. They were both standing hundreds of meters above a large town in the dead of night. She glanced around, taking in the breath taking sight. The way the hundreds of street lamps and houses light up the town made it seem from this high up as if it was made of fireflies. Along with the tiny, looking cars moving about, it looked like a huge maze of lights and darkness.

Grimmjow, seeing her amazement, decided to point something simple out, and yet, it seemed that his simple gesture had a deeper, hidden meaning.

"Look up….it's better." He whispered, barely audible above the howling wind. Obeying silently, she lifted her gaze so it rested upon the midnight sky.

It was beyond anything she could have imagined. Even in her memories, nothing had ever seemed as beautiful as it did in this one moment. The moon was huge, occupying almost one third of the sky. It seemed brighter than she had ever seen it, as its light banished the shadows from the land below. Tearing her eyes from the entrancing white orb, she stared at the other figures that occupied the sky. Hundreds…thousands... Of stars twinkled in the night sky, each appearing so small compared to what it actually was. They dotted around the moon, forming various shapes that she swore connected to create figures.

She was half way through connecting a group to form Chappy the Rabbit, before Grimmjow interrupted once more.

"We need to get a move on, you want to see your friends don't you?" he asked, well more like growled seeing as he was opposed to the idea in the first place. She looked unsure, not only on how to respond to such a statement, but about whether she really did want to see her friends.

True, she wanted to remember what it was like, what they were like…but if she did, what would come of it?

Would they just hunt her down for being a hollow?

Would they ever be able to look at her the same way again after finding out what she had become?

...She didn't know….she just didn't know.

Everything that had happened in the past few days began to take its toll…it felt as the weight of the world rested upon her shoulders, and it was beginning to show. She could no longer see the lines that divided black and white…good and evil, and that was scared her. She had lived as both a shinigami and now as a hollow…and yet, from experience, there seemed to be no good and evil…both sides simply struggled for survival…

How can she fight those who aren't truly her enemy?

How can she fight for those who aren't truly her comrades?

What do you do when you stand on the line that separates the light from the darkness?

Once again…she didn't know.

From the time she woke up, there had been many things she had yet to understand….and yet, one that she did…was how much she relied on the man next to her….Even if he didn't realize it, he gave her comfort in the most odd ways… just by being by her side, calmed her down to her very spirit.

Then she remembered someone telling her about the truth of fighting…that it wasn't a matter of good and evil, right and wrong, just and unjust…no, it was a matter of fighting to protect.

Whether to protect your title, your friends, your pride, or….your 'heart'.

Remembering Kaien's speech, from the only memory she could actually feel, made her slowly decide on her resolve, and what she would fight for…yes.

She wouldn't fight for the 'good' or the 'evil'; she would fight to protect the only bond she had left.

The bond between her and the blue haired Espada who somehow filled the hole where her heart used to be…

"Grimmjow…" His ears perked up at the mention of his name. It was odd, usually they would be bickering and arguing about nicknames or anything really…but it felt different this time. She had hardly spoken since they arrived, and the dejected tone in her voice caused him the slightest ounce of inner turmoil.

"What's wrong?" he replied quietly, his voice not containing the slightest trace of amusement, or anger. If anything, it was laced with the slightest hint of concern, which was definitely a first for the 6th Espada.

"Can you promise me something?" she whimpered. Grimmjow knew something was wrong…the Rukia he knew didn't whimper. She yelled, shouted, snapped, snarled and spoke, but NEVER had he heard her whimper.

It was a sound he never wanted to hear again.

"What?" he asked once more, this time the worry was prominent in his voice. He couldn't hide it, especially seeing the state she was in.

"No matter what happens…stay." She replied in a whisper, almost cut off by the howling wind. He didn't need words to react, nor to understand what she was saying. She was enduring one of the incurable sufferances of the hollow existence.

Loneliness…

He was no stranger to that feeling, but always filled the void with endless struggle, violence and bloodshed.

Reaching forward, he grabbed her shoulders firmly while staring her straight in the eyes. Their eyes locked for a split second, before he pulled her into a firm, yet gentle embrace. She was slightly shocked by his actions, but incredibly relieved none the less. Her arms found their way around his toned abs, as she buried her head deeper into his chest.

He reached out with his hand, ruffling her mask and her hair gently while turning away.

"Let's go." He said, not waiting for her to reply. He knew if she wanted to move on, she would have to let go of her old friends first.

And to do that, she would need to see them….even if it shattered her….it didn't matter, because he would be there to pick up the pieces.

She trailed him closely, still not able to catch up to him, nor able to ask him just where he was running off to. He suddenly stopped moving, craning his neck whilst throwing his head to the sky. He seemed to sense something, judging from the intense expression on his face, one she hadn't witnessed before. He broke out into a sad smile, so minuscule it took her trained eye to spot it….Even though she hadn't seen him smile all that much, she could tell this was anything but happy.

It seemed...Pained.

But why?

"Oy, what's wrong kitty?" she used his nickname in the hopes of regaining their usual playful banter.

"There's a storm approaching…" he muttered allowed, before picking up his pace once more. As soon as the words left his lips, she glanced around the beautiful open sky until her eyes landed upon ominous black clouds that blocked the stars in the distance….it was going to rain soon. She soon ran off, leaving the thoughts behind in an attempt to catch the blue-haired sexta.

It wasn't long until he stopped once more. They were on the very outskirts of town, nearing a clearing that held an abandoned warehouse.

Why were they here?

She tilted her head to the side slightly, grunting in confusion.

"Why here?" she asked, sounding as nonchalant as possible, but still sounding on edge. He simply grunted, raising his arm gesturing to the warehouse lazily.

"At least one of 'em is in there." He remarked, glancing anywhere but her eyes, afraid of what she might glimpse in their amethyst depths. She nodded silently, before slowly but surely wandering closer to the warehouse.

Now that he had pointed it out, she felt an oddly familiar reitsu that crashed over her. It pained her to even feel it, seeing as she couldn't ever remember it before, but the familiarity was killing her. Like an extended sense of déjà vu, one that she would never remember what it was truly like. Edging forward, she eventually reached the ground that she once stood so far above.

Grimmjow was still standing like a statue, completely still and unmoving. She could feel his eyes watching her every move, but it didn't unnerve her in the slightest. His gaze actually comforted her somewhat, letting her know at least someone was there for her.

She smiled despite the growing anxiety invading her persona.

She concentrated on the reitsu pulsing from the warehouse, surprised the feel that out of all of them, only 2 seemed familiar… She began to reach out before something caught her eyes.

There was obviously a barrier of some sorts around the place, she noticed that from the start….but it was wobbling and shaking about three meters to the left of her current position. Turning she stared as a figure slowly emerged from the barrier.

It was a girl….she could tell that much easily. She was wearing a simple school uniform, complete with an overly tight looking sweater and a skirt that was hiked up the strawberry blonde's thigh. She had auburn hair that fell down past her back, as well as two shining hairpins.

Rukia instantly picked up on the spirit power emanating from them, observing that they were the source of her powers. The 10th Espada studied her eyes carefully, reading them like a book with ease. This girl looked so hopeful…so genuinely happy that it actually annoyed made the arrancar feel a twinge of jealously.

She wasn't sure why it bothered her so much that this girl…_'Inoue'_ her memory supplied the name, randomly exited from an abandoned warehouse where the Kurosaki child had disappeared to…

She was an Espada dammit!

So just why the hell did it pain her so much to witness this scene?

Why was her scowl so deep, and her eyes narrowed to mere slits?

She watched as the girl slowly began to exit the warehouse, before stopping her tracks with wide eyes. Rukia slowly turned around to try and witness what had captured the girl's attention, until her eyes landed on a figure she recognized instantly.

It was herself…well, the illusion of herself…. She had a kind smile on her face as her eyes seemed to glow in the darkness. The 10th Espada couldn't stop the anger rising within her…..she HATED the fake.

The way the shinigami robes flickered around her in a slight breeze, the way her hair flowed perfectly in the moonlight and the way her eyes shone perfectly.

It was infuriating…because she was so perfect.

Her stance was perfect, her posture, even her goddamn expression!

It wasn't long before the real Rukia was shaking in rage, with her jaw and fists clenched so tightly that the nails dug deeply into her skin.

This fake had everything she could never have…

Glaring at both the women before her, she couldn't help but notice the differences between the fake and herself.

They were blatantly obvious!

The way it talked, the way it smiled, the way it cocked its head to the side when confused, the way it freaking breathed!

It was nothing like her!

SURELY one of her friends would notice such differences, right…?

Grimmjow seemed to notice her fury as she soon felt two strong arms holding hers back while he shook his head slowly.

"We can't do anything like this…"

She knew what he said was true, but the further she listened into the conversation between the two women, the more infuriated she became. Hell, the topics that the fake brought up were nothing like what she would have!

How could someone not notice these changes….how?

Having had enough, she turned away from the scene which involved both girls locked in a tight embrace.

At that moment, she swore that she'd be the one who ripped that fakes head from its shoulders. She would be the one who tore its throat out and held it high above her head as if a trophy…and she would do it in front of those who dared to call themselves 'friends'!

She didn't notice as a small trail of tears made their way down her cheek. Nor did she notice when the heaven's split open in unison, drenching the town in her sorrow…Yes, so many hearts had died that night, it would have been just wrong if the heavens showed no compassion…

Grimmjow lifted her over his shoulder before walking away slowly. He had no idea what to say in this situation, but was well aware that no words would cut it. 'I'm sorry, it'll be alright?'

Bullshit, he knew these wounds would be the kind that never healed, and he wouldn't lie and say he was sorry, when he truly wasn't. It was because she made those friends that fate had decided they were to meet.

Hell, he might even thank them, but right now, he wanted to make them pay. Make them suffer for bringing tears to her eyes which used to shine so brightly.

He swore, he would find that orange haired boy who was the cause of this, and make him suffer for how much pain he's caused the girl currently slung over his shoulder...

"Wait, Grimmjow…there's one more place I have to see…" she muttered, barely audible above the rain hammering into the ground around them. He felt his neck shift as he nodded slightly, already having an idea of where she wanted to be.

Using Sonido, he was at the house in mere seconds. All the lights were out, but she could clearly hear soft noises inside.

"I'll wait here..." he informed her, placing her gently on the ground before turning away. She smiled slightly, silently thanking him. She jumped through the window up to the second floor as it felt only natural.

Wandering around, she eventually entered a room populated with three beds, only two filled.

"Ah, so these are his sisters…Yuzu and Karin..." she mused to herself, studying them intently.

Karin had the same hard look she wore in all of the memories, yet this time even in sleep it was marred with worry. Her sister had a streamline of tears that glistened in the moonlight, as she whimpered in her sleep.

"Ichi-nii…" she heard the name and couldn't help the gasp that escaped her lips…

Had he not told his family where he was?

Was that why they were worrying?...

If you asked her, she'd say it was kind of cruel…..it may sound like some kind of sick joke coming from a hollow, but she remembered herself worrying over the boy multiple times, so she only imagined it would be worse for his actually family.

She frowned wordlessly as she sighed to herself.

That 'Ichigo' was an idiot…

She was jerked back to reality once more by sobbing, but this time it sounded louder and more audible, in addition to not coming from the sleeping girls.

No, it seemed to be coming from a…stuffed animal?

Judging from the voice, it was a male, but the dress it was wearing made her doubt her previous assumption. '_Kon_'…the name called out to her, along with the flow of memories that accompanied it.

"Nee-san!" he cried, with his arms wrapped around his legs.

She raised her eyebrows; surely the fake hadn't been gone for more than a few hours…why did this upset the mod-soul this much?

"Nee-san come back!" he wailed, sobbing into his paws once more.

Come back?

Did that mean he noticed something was wrong?

As if answering her question, he continued on with his wailing barely articulating proper words.

"Nee-san….no matter who I tell they don't listen! Come back, and save me from that _thing_ in your skin!" he cried, clutching his tiny body tighter.

She was shocked, naturally….So there were people who noticed?

Even if they were pervy mod souls….he noticed the changes.

He noticed that that..._Thing _wasn't her….

She smiled softly, bending down and patting his head softly.

"Nee-san….where are you…?" he muttered, his sobbing slowly quieting down. He could swear that as the words left his mouth a warm sensation began to envelop his forehead as if something was patting him softly.

He gasped quietly as he heard as ghost of a whisper echo around his ears in Nee-san's voice.

'_Kon…I'll always be right here…_'

He jumped up, searching for any signs of his beloved Nee-san, hurriedly bouncing around the room.

She watched his antics as a tragic smile spear across her lips…she wished that he could see her, just so she would tell him she was alright.

Even becoming an arrancar had done little to erase the irreplaceable kindness her very soul was filled with.

'_See you…Kon._'

The voice filled the room once more as he felt her presence disappear. He was overjoyed but at this same time filled with sorrow…she had heard his cries, and done her best to comfort him.

THAT was the Nee-san he knew and adored…not the thing currently walking around his HER place.

That idiot Ichigo….not only did he leave without saying anything, but he didn't save Nee-san…


	6. One Week

**Author's Note: Long update is long. I reckon the OOC police will arrest me for this chapter, and for that I'm sorry, but bear in mind that most of it is THOUGHTS, not actually expression of emotion. **

Chapter 6

The rain still pounded the streets as icy winds swept the city.

It was in a way…fitting. And yet, no matter how much the heaven's cried with her, it couldn't match up to the despair that oozed from the empty hole in her chest.

As much as she hated to admit it…it hurt…watching her friends live on, day by day, completely oblivious to the danger lurking around every corner.

Completely freaking ignorant of the hell she had suffered, and how much it hurt to watch them…not notice that it WASN'T her.

She hated the fact that her copy was everything she was…but more so.

She HATED the fact that most would probably prefer the fake to the real her….this made her seethe with rage- until one calming thought entered her mind.

Someone remembered.

A certain stuffed animal remembered HER for who she was, he remembered her flaws, her movements, her eyes, everything about the REAL her so that he wasn't fooled by the fake.

Stepping outside, surprised to find the rain still soaked her in the spirit form, she immediately spotted Grimmjow hunched over in the side walk, completely drenched. She instantly felt a pang of guilt, knowing it was her fault because she took so long.

Walking over softly, her footsteps still echoed through the night, causing the man in question to snap his head up looking her direction.

"Let's go….home." she said quietly, not fully realizing what she had just said. Grimmjow was stunned….she had just been able to see what she used to live in, and yet she called Las Notches 'home'?

He couldn't help but smirk at her statement…that was the Rukia he knew.

Determined, hardheaded, even a little moody at times, but the same impossible kindness and strength flowed from her soul itself, unconsciously giving strength to those around her. Grimmjow sighed silently, knowing deep down that the other side had just lost their light, in a war which would bring nothing but darkness.

He grabbed his companion's arms roughly as their vision began to blur and fade until they were once again surrounded by darkness.

Grimmjow would never admit it out loud, but there were certain things in the human world he was utterly confused about. Hell, he had only been there once, seeing as this didn't really count, and yet each time the surroundings amazed him.

He had yet to see the real sun from this world, only knowing of the fake one in Las Notches. The other major difference he noticed in the sky was the moon. Hueco Mundo had a moon…a large daunting crescent moon that shone through eternally giving a small but reliable light source for the world below, forever encased in shadows.

Yes…he knew THAT moon all too well, and yet…this was so different.

This moon was full, and much, much brighter than the one back in Las Notches. This moon made him think of a certain raven-haired Espada, which again confused him to no end.

He was a hollow…. A hollow evolved into an arrancar sure, but a hollow none the less. He wasn't meant to 'feel' anything, especially what he was right now. It was foreign to him, but that didn't stop him exploring these new things named 'emotions'.

If she was the moon….who is her sun?

Who is her other significant half, that she is not complete without?

Does such a person exist?

…Could he even become that person?

He sighed once more.

Having enough musing about this foreign concept, he decided to ponder over the other phenomena that occurred twice when he visited the 'real' world.

'Rain' it was called.

What was rain?

He knew what a storm was…he could tell when a storm was coming, but he didn't know why storms brought rain. He remembered the midget saying something about the rain….what was it again?

'_It rains when you lose a piece of your heart'_

Something like that…why did she have to be so damn cryptic?

What was his heart?

What about her?

He ripped her heart out….doesn't that mean it would never rain for her again?

No…that can't be true, because it rained on their visit.

Then how!

How could one stop the eternal downpour in someone's nonexistent heart?

He slowly peeled his eyes open to reveal a rather flushed looking Rukia, glancing awkwardly around the room, not daring to let her gaze linger anywhere near his face. To be honest, he was downright confused at her behavior….so much so he had yet to realize that her hands were still firmly clasped in his own.

"The hell's up with you?" he grunted, raising an eyebrow questioningly. She cleared her throat in response before gesturing with her eyes to their intertwined hands as her blush magnified 10 fold. Grimmjow followed her eyes until his own rested upon their hands. He was surprised, but didn't let it show. He couldn't stop the smirk that soon crawled across his lips at her reaction.

It was priceless!

What happened next went in a complete blue for both occupants of the room. Grimmjow wasn't quite sure what compelled him to tighten his grasp on her hands, before boldly reaching out and placing a chastise kiss on her cheek. Realizing what he had done, he instantly bolted, going as far as using sonido to disappear from that room to just get away as far as he could.

Rukia's brain had temporarily derailed for a moment. First he didn't pull away from his position, then that damn smirk covered his lips as he knew he had her complete attention. The way he smiled reminded her too much of her being some sort of prey, which she hated. She had almost given him an uppercut, but what he did next may have made her brain permanently derail.

He without ANY warning whatsoever, leaned forward kissing her cheek in such a gentle way, she didn't think he was capable of.

After a moment, the action seemed to sink in to both of them, as his face turned a brilliant shade of red, as he disappeared as fast as he could.

She would have laughed at his antics, if she wasn't so hung up on attempting - but failing miserably - to comprehend what the hell just happened.

"Do you know why you're here, Ulquiorra?" Said arrancar's facial expression didn't alter in the slightest as he blinked slowly.

"No." Came the melancholic whisper from the stotic 4th Espada. His cat like emerald eyes gleamed in the darkness, with absolutely no emotions peaking through their glazed surfaces.

"You are to train the 10th Espada in the use of Cero, and Resurrection forms."

"Yes, Aizen-sama" the automatic response, delivered in the same unchanging tone. Aizen's smile widened as Ulquiorra turned and slowly walked out of the room.

A certain silver-haired ex-captain overheard the conversation, as he emerged from the shadows in the room.

"What ya up to, Aizen?" His smirk grew at the simple question. In truth, such a simple question had so many answers to choose from, seeing as they would all be true.

What was he up to?

Too many things to simply list off. But, he decided he may as well share some of the information of his plan with his 'trustworthy' subordinate.

"Little Rukia needs to hone her skills to be of any use in combat." Gin nodded at his assessment, but couldn't stop thinking this was a bad idea.

"Build a flame too strong and you'll burn thyself." Gin replied, knowing full well how dangerous the new 10th Espada could be.

"I know, Gin. I am just testing my theory….back in Soul Society, she was like a ray of hope….I am truly curious to know whether or not she had the same effects of the inhabitants here." Gin nodded silently at his explanation, as he was also interested in what effects the petit ex-shinigami would have on her new comrades.

The next week passed in a blur.

Rumors of the new 10th Espada spread like wildfire, and soon, she was known as the 'Ice Queen' of Hueco Mundo.

Only the Espada along with Aizen, Touscen and Gin actually knew her true identity, hell no one apart from them even knew her name. She was respected, revered and feared all at the same time by the general population, because not only was she a complete mystery, incredibly strong and fearless, but her soul stored the one and only hogyoku.

She gained the nickname 'Ice Queen' quite quickly, after her reiatsu was said to be so cold, that you soul could actually freeze by retaining her presence. Everyone believed these rumors to be true, which only added to the mystery surrounding her background and rank.

Now…if it was one of the Espada talking, they would have a VERY different opinion.

Very few had actually been graced to see the REAL her, and those who had, were amazed at how her personality could easily do a 180 degree back flip. To the outside world she was The Ice Queen, cold, static, heartless even….but to those who knew her, she was childish, innocent and had the biggest heart of all the people they had ever met.

On the very brief list of people who knew the real her, was a certain green-eyed Espada. He had been assigned to train her for slightly over a week, but after their first training session, he had already decided it was by far the most difficult order he had ever had to carry out.

_Flashback_

"I was ordered to train you from now on, in both the use of Cero and resurrection." He said monotonously, observing the petit arrancar before him with concealed interest. He too, had heard the fierce rumors that surrounded her, but was truly wondering just how many were correct.

All his suspicions were blown completely out of the water by her response. She didn't nod stiffly, nor did she even address the point he made.

She simply gawked while pointing at the 4th Espada, as her eyes widened in shock and…amusement?

"He reminds me of nii-sama!" she yelped, still pointing. A snicker as heard from the other corner of the room as the 6th Espada made his presence known. Not even Grimmjow saw what was coming next.

She leapt from her position, tackling the 4th Espada to the floor in a bone-crushing hug. The formerly emotionless Espada's eyes practically popped out of his skull, never having been touched in a gesture that contained the slightest hint of affection.

"Ulquiorra nii-chan!" she squealed embracing him tighter. Grimmjow couldn't stifle the laugh that tore through his throat while observing the scene before him.

This may be the first time he had ever seen the melancholic Espada display any form of emotion... Ulquiorra's expression was frozen so his eyes were slightly widened and his mouth set slightly open as his brain tried to process what just occurred.

Never in his life had he encountered something so…

Odd?

For once, he was stumped on how to react. The weirdest part of the whole experience was that he found himself almost…enjoying it?

Not that he would EVER say anything or do anything to hint that, but he found himself almost disappointed when she released him from the crushing embrace.

_End flashback_

From then on, he had somehow unofficially gained the title 'nii-chan', as well as having the 10th Espada constantly reprimand him about them being siblings. Once again, the weirdest part was that he found himself not bothered in the slightest by her actions.

For this, he still didn't know exactly what to do, but he found himself at ease when he thought about the simple fact that she seemed to affect others that way as well.

One example that he witnessed was Grimmjow….infamous for his reputation for not only being incredibly strong, but ruthless, thoughtless, and reckless….and yet, when around the Espada, his personality seems to jump to the other end of the scale, becoming overly protective…..though unfortunately retained his reckless.

One of the other things about The 'Ice Princess' which managed to captivate Ulquiorra was her strength in combat.

On her first day, she had been sloppy, slow and making stupid mistakes every few seconds. It only took her minutes to make corrections, and soon she was fighting on par with him.

Now when they sparred, he could tell she was holding back immensely, probably because no one in Hueco Mundo would actually be strong enough to go full out.

Sure, if he activated his resurrection, he might have a shot, but she should be able to do that as well….and yet, it's one of the few things he is disappointed with.

Her skills were mastered and honed incredibly quickly, as well as quickly picking up the few rules to use 'Cero' and 'Sonido', and yet…she has made absolutely no progress whatsoever in activating her resurrection. She had tried, many a time, but she was unsuccessful every attempt.

Today would be her 8th day attempting to transform…

The 4th Espada wasn't surprised to find her waiting eagerly in the training grounds, sword already drawn and poised to strike.

Glancing around, he quickly spotted a rather beaten-up looking Grimmjow, covered in bruises and small cuts.

He smirked internally…the sexta had obviously, unfortunately he might add, been the Rukia's previous sparring partner.

In an instant, he drew his blade only to parry a vicious blow that could have removed his head from upon his shoulders if he wasn't alert enough.

He barely had time to react before she disappeared for a split second, before he heard the wind whistle past his ears caused by her blade swinging around, about to strike his throat. He managed to duck in time, barely succeeding to keep his head attached to his shoulders.

That was how the fight went…

Dodge, dodge, parry, miss, dodge, parry.

Not any particular pattern, completely unpredictable…he had taught her well.

Her reiatsu was also fearsome even in this state, and he couldn't even comprehend what it would be like in her resurrection. His began mind wander too far from the fight at hand, until he felt something touching his shoulder gently. He cursed silently as he realized it's her hand, and her face is close to his. He knows what's coming, and raises his arm in defence as quickly as possible.

"Cero"

"Cero"

The Fourth Espada's didn't get to charge his for long, in addition to it not being nearly as strong, which ended up with him getting blasted back into a nearby wall. It didn't burn him, nor did it hurt, but his coat began to smolder, burnt and singed around the edges.

He sighed, brushing the dust of his clothing before walking back into the training grounds, emotionless gaze firmly in place.

"Let's try the resurrection again, Rukia."

He called her by her given name, after getting scolded ferociously the first time after he called her Kuchiki.

Now, Ulquiorra wasn't the type of person who gets _'scared'_, hell fear is the emotion his kind is born from….but he NEVER wants to witness a pissed of Rukia again.

He isn't sure why the blue-haired sexta is so insistent on calling her 'midget' knowing how much it annoys her, though he isn't complaining as he gets the pleasure of watching him get beat to a bloody pulp by a girl literally half his size.

The dust soon cleared to reveal an annoyed looking Rukia with a vain clearly visible and throbbing on her forehead.

He quickly spots the source of her frustration…a smirking Grimmjow, still on the ground but with twice as many bruises as before. By the way she is blushing furiously; he guessed Grimmjow made some perverted comment that Ulquiorra really didn't want to soil his mind with.

"Yeah, let's try it again, Uluqui Nii-chan." She used the same nickname with an ecstatic grin on her face, and he doesn't comment as his expression remains emotionless. He isn't sure what to say, but he can tell that nickname is 100x better than the 'Kitty'; his comrade currently writhing in pain was labeled with.

"Oy midget, if you get resurrection today, I'll take you anywhere you want." He bribed her, his smirk widening. He clearly saw the gleam in her eyes at the word 'anywhere', though unluckily for him, she didn't miss the use of the word 'midget' which earned him another mouthful of foot.

"Deal" she whispered quietly, in a surprisingly calm voice, though her eyes tell a different story. They had a shining twinkle in them, which only seemed to appear when the blue-haired Espada was subject to various forms of torture.

Ulquiorra inwardly smirked at their banter, feeling yet another emotion bubble inside him….

For some reason, watching the way she acted around them made his chest feel warm and…fuzzy?

He wasn't quite sure what the hell was wrong with him…was it pride?

He humped… why would he be proud of her?

Sure it's amusing to watch Grimmjow get his ass handed to him on a silver platter by a girl half his size…but is that the origin of this foreign emotion?

He muses silently, before coming up with a viable answer.

It must be the nickname…the repeated calling of 'Nii-chan' seems to have affected him more than he'd admit.

Subconsciously, he began to refer to her as just that…his sister?

It felt odd.

Not only was having someone act affectionately in his presence, but this was directly to him. He knew hollows weren't meant to feel, as he had always acted as such.

Maybe it's the Hogyoku resting inside her soul?

That seems like a valid option….then he remembered the shinigami acted this way around her also….Is it just her nature?

That's probably it.

He refocused on her determined expression and watched as the spirit particles around her began to glow as her eyes burned with fierce determination.

She closed her eyes slowly, and tried to concentrate her reiatsu enough to activate resurrection. One simple thought ran through her mind which helped her focus…the deal she just made….He did say '_anywhere_'….meaning the human realm was not off limits….her grin stretched even wider as she continued to gather reiatsu. Her once amethyst orbs began to glow a luminescent aqua blue as a rush of power invaded her body.

She had never felt so alive!

The spirit particles around her began to take shape as she muttered one simple command.

"Dance, Sode no Shirayuki"


	7. Between Snow and Ice

**Author's Note: Slow update is slow, sorry all! By the way, I am currently sketching Rukia's resurrection, so check my profile for the link. Sorry if you don't like it, but I have an obsession with skeletal dragons and well…. From that this was born, so enjoy!**

Chapter 6

It felt like a tsunami crashed over them, smothering and drowning the few occupants of the training area.

The reiatsu was so thick; it felt like they were thousands of kilometers underwater; so deep that the pressure crushed almost every living creature.

It was so heavy… even making it hard to even breathe, let alone move a muscle. Only barely able to peel his eyes open, Ulquiorra managed to glimpse a scene that could be the centre of both dreams and nightmares.

The earth itself was beginning to break and crack around where she stood, whether it was the immense reiatsu causing it, or just the supreme power she was flaunting, he wasn't sure.

It was a truly magnificent sight, the chunks of earth that had previously been ripped apart, now began to float and swirl around in circular motions, almost as if caught in a whirlwind.

Now, the emerald eyed fourth Espada wasn't 100% sure what exactly was happening to the raven haired girl, but the incredible rate that the spirit particles began to gather around her set off some warning bells in his mind. They continued to gather, creating an incredibly thick barrier of swirling spirit particles, along with chunks of rock.

He felt the dramatic rise in power as the spirit particles began to glow ferociously. The sheer power that it emanated had already brought both the current Espada to their knees. His spine crawled at the sight, as well as he felt his blood run cold.

Weary of just how true his last thought was, after seeing the ground around the sphere begin to freeze over, he decided quickly that escape was the best option. The rumor about your soul freezing in her presence suddenly became 100x more viable.

Then he saw it, the static and crackling of the atmosphere itself, the foreboding signs, signaling something was about to happen. Reacting on instinct, and instinct alone, he managed to grab the currently unconscious blue-haired Espada roughly, before using sonido to escape. He was fairly sure if there was some land-speed record for sonido, he had just smashed it in his desperate attempt to avoid the coming disaster.

It all happened in less than a second.

As soon as the two Espada were hundreds of yards away, the glowing dome of energy began to seethe and writhe. Its surface area began to grow momentarily, before expanding to become almost 100 yards tall and wide. The azure glow began to shine even more brightly, forcing the 4th Espada to screw his eyes shut.

His knees felt like they were made of jelly, as it became increasingly difficult to not get swept away in the hurricane before him.

Just as quickly as it appeared, it began to recede, crawling back towards its source of power. Managing to open his eyes once more, he was greeted with the both terrifying and mystifying sight of her resurrection.

Sure the mask MAY have given some hint to what her resurrection form was, but he was in no way prepared for this.

From head to toe, it looked like she was encased in bone.

The mask that usually sat atop her head was now enlarged and pulled over her face, as well as there was now a lower jaw bone attached, leaving its maw open wide enough to barely see her face inside.

Her shoulders were armored with jagged spikes which seemed to form some sort of makeshift shoulder pad.

Her arms were encased in what looked like an animal's rib cages, excluding the vicious spikes that each piece centered around. He couldn't see properly, but still managed to catch a glimpse of her small, pale hands that were now covered in armor that made them look like curved talons.

Her chest as essentially the same as her arms, with the outside rib cages curving around to cover surprisingly little of her torso, leaving her stomach uncovered.

Her legs were covered in the same, bone-like material, although the armor looked like medieval armor plates that ran all the way across her thighs and shins. Her feet were also armored in the material which, like her hands, made them look like cruel talons.

He saw the end of a long tail that whisked and curled around her form almost protectively. It too was made of the bone-like material and each segment floated close to the next, but like the rest of the armor, didn't touch.

The tip had two jagged, azure, shards that gleamed in the 'sunlight' of Las Notches.

The most daunting feature was probably the two, pale wings that stretched from her back that framed her new figure. They were huge, almost as tall as she was when she stretched, and were also made from the bone-like armor.

Where she had stood, there was now a huge crater that stretched hundreds of feet wide, as well as deep. Slowly, ever so slowly she craned her neck around to peer lazily at the two Espada, now residing a fair distance away.

Flapping her newly acquired wings lazily, she reached them in less than a second, surprising both them and herself.

To his surprise, he couldn't move in the slightest. Not just because of the extreme reiatsu, but because it felt like his entire body was freezing. It was if a sudden blizzard had hit without any warning, and he couldn't stop his teeth from chattering.

He was soon broken from his thoughts by light laughter, from the girl standing before him.

In seconds, all the armor faded, and returned to the shape of her sword.

She was grinning almost as wide as Gin, as well as her amethyst eyes gleaming in victory.

She soon turned her attention to the unconscious blue-haired sexta and burst out in uncontrollable laughter.

"That ass! He said he'd take me anywhere and he just goes and passes out?" She tisked silently, as her laughter turned into a deep scowl at the unconscious figure.

"He'll wake soon."

The 4th replied monotonously.

She nodded slightly, giving the indication that she heard, as she stalked over and placed her foot on his cheek.

"You have five seconds to wake up…" she snarled, applying more pressure with each second that past.

"5…"

"4…"

"3…"

"2…"

"1…"

Unluckily for her, by the end of the countdown, he was still hopelessly unconscious. Growling lightly, she hadn't actually thought through what she was going to do at the end of the countdown, seeing as he was usually awake and spitting vicious retorts by now.

The realization that he may actually be injured struck hard as she bent down and started shaking him softly. Not only because she didn't want to actually injure him, but that guy owed her a trip ANYWHERE and being unconscious was not going to get him out of it.

She sighed; this was going to take dirty, underhanded tactics to get him to wake.

Slowly, she leant over his chest until her face was hovering only inches from his own. Leaning forward even further, she planted a soft kiss on his forehead. That was all it took for his eyes to swing open in shock, gaining a very up close view of her chest as a greeting.

He smirked eyeing her hungrily, and before he could act, he felt an all too familiar foot on his face.

Just how the hell was she so quick?

"Bastard…you owe me, remember?" he gulped….yes he did remember, but he didn't want to.

He didn't think she'd actually do it!

He was about to snap back at her before a slow, rhythmic clapping interrupted his sentence.

All three of the Espada, turned to see a fourth walking towards them slowly. His bright pink hair swaying to the soft wind of the desert.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" he chided slowly, not bothering to hide the arrogance dripping in his tone. He was given the job of monitoring the _'newbie's'_ progress, and he must say, what he witnessed today was a rather frightening display of power.

"Syzayel…" the blue haired man snarled.

"I'm only here to update on her progress." He replied, still in a rather condescending voice.

"Well?" the raven haired Espada asked, clearly impatient and frustrated at the interruption.

"I am simply here to inform you of the capabilities and abilities of her resurrection form." She growled at his antics.

"We know! Spit it out…." she snorted; this guy really had trouble getting to the point. Ever since she met him a week ago, she could tell his was one for dramatics, and often took an awfully long time to spit out the simplest things.

"When you first activated your resurrection, I must say I was surprised. Ulquiorra did the right thing in escaping to a safe distance, because my monitors were severely damaged if not destroyed."

She nodded in response, as she didn't find that fact at all surprising.

"Now, I had THOUGHT it was because of the immense spirit power, but I was in fact proven wrong. Everything in that blue orb was not just frozen, but solidified." He informed them, waiting for their reactions.

"So what?" Grimmjow snarled, he really didn't see what was so amazing about that.

"At first, I thought that too, but after researching it, I saw how dangerous it really is. It doesn't work like the regular 'freezing', which you're accustomed to. It didn't merely 'turn things to ice', it did something much more frightening."

The pink haired Espada paused for a moment, to let the situation sink in slightly…and well, who doesn't love a dramatic effect?

"Judging from what I've seen, it was an internal attack.

You see, in that blue sphere, all the moisture in the atmosphere itself was frozen solid. This would make it impossible to breathe for most living creatures…. Not only that, but it froze the spirit particles that were in there too….

Do you see what this means?" In turn, the other Espada shook their head slowly, still trying to work out what was so amazing about her ability. The 8th Espada sighed at their ignorance, while rubbing his temples in a soothing motion.

Explaining things was never his forte…

"The spirit particles were frozen….not destroying them parse, but disabling them….making them completely useless…." Many eyebrows were raised at this, though no one interrupted only silently urging the pink-haired man on.

"By disabling the sprit particles and power in the area, in the closed space that is created, the enemy is only human! A human without any sort of spirit power none the less; making the freezing aura hundreds of times more effective!" he finished in a shout, still growling but enjoying the speech none the less.

"What I'm attempting to get through your thick skulls…is that I'm on no whim when I say, if you get caught in that, there is a VERY high chance you'll die…"

Grimmjow didn't bother to stifle the gasp that tore through his already damaged throat.

Just by even activating her resurrection, if you were too close you'd die?

Freakin' amazing!

Although he'd rather die before admitting it, he was both inspired and proud at her capabilities. They were hell cool, if not being slightly frightening on the side.

Yeesh, he felt sorry for anyone who had to fight her seriously without knowing what she was capable of….

He was brought back to the situation at hand when the 8th Espada decided to back up his claims with what he proclaimed was 'evidence'.

"As you can see, one of my minions was caught in the blast….." he trailed off, before revealing a bloated looking….thing.

Rukia wasn't even sure how to describe it…..it was like a ball, with stubby arms and legs that protruded from this circular shape. Its head seemed to be connected directly, as it didn't appear to have any neck.

"And that is….?" She muttered, still desperately confused as to what she was seeing here.

"Did I make it look like that?" she asked, feeling slightly guilty and responsible for making one of the 8th Espada's minions look like….that.

The pink-haired man snorted in amusement before shaking his head proudly.

"No, I created it. What I wanted you to look at, was its current….predicament. Only 10 minutes ago it wouldn't stop jumping around, but right now its stiff and unmoving….can you guess what happened?" without giving time for any retorts he conintued at a frenzied pace. "That's right, it was caught in the energy Kuchiki. Let me tell you now, it will never awake. It's dead, but what I'm trying to show you is that the cause of death….was due to frost.."

Gasps echoed throughout the area as the others tried to detect any signs of it actually being frozen..apart from the lack of movement. Shaking his head slowly, the 8th came to the conclusion that he would actually have to explain it to them.

"You won't see find it just staring at it….. As I said, that attack is designed to target the internal organs. My best guess is it occurs when you activate your resurrection…. Regardless, it's extremely powerful. You may not realize it, but my minion has been destroyed. So much so in fact, that there is no chance of me reviving him…." He growled the last part of his speech, seeing as it took a lot of work to create them…

The new Espada could only gaze in wonder at the work of her own ability.

"By the way, there's one more ability that you used subconsciously, which I deem even more deadly."

A total of 4 eyebrows were raised at this statement, as Rukia and Grimmjow gaped in surprise, Ulquiorra simple absorbed the information given.

"I mentioned before a 'frost aura'. I'm not sure of its radius, but you seemed to admit a freezing aura around you….Again, it may not seem like much, but it appeared to be another internal attack…. Clotting the blood, slowing the heart, freezing the tendons so they no snap and rip easily…..yes, quite a frightening ability indeed."

Rukia nodded mutely at this explanation; somehow it was if she knew everything he was telling her, as if she was already programmed as such.

"Why is that so good anyway, if her enemies smart, they'll jus' finish 'er off quick."

Grimmjow grunted, still somewhat confused as to why this ability was so 'scary'.

"That's just it! I would agree with you, but the way it works is what's worrying about it…." The pink haired man retorted, obviously frustrated that he had yet to understand just how valuable this ability was.

"Listen. Judging from what I've seen and the rate at which it affects the victim….there is 10 minutes." He replied solemnly. That may seem like an awful long time, but in reality…..10 minutes of even standing NEAR the new 10th Espada meant death. Grimmjow couldn't stop gaping….

Was he serious?

You could only fight the midget for 10 minutes before your body shuts down?

What the hell?

"That's stupid, what if the opponent decides to just take 'er down before 10 minutes is up?" he snorted, actually interested with the matter at hand.

To his surprise, it was the midget herself who answered his question.

"I think what he's trying to say, is to fight me when I'm in resurrection, there is a timer. I reckon what he's getting at, is if there's a large scale battle going on, I could affect lots of 'em at once…."

It took less than a minute to sink in as Grimmjow gawked at her explanation.

"You sayin' you can just sit there hidin' n' bein' a lazy ass, and all the shinigami will just drop dead in 10 minutes!"

She smirked at his reaction, as Ulquiorra remained emotionless.

On the inside, he was secretly amazed at her powers. They would be of great use in the upcoming battles, especially her second one.

The pink haired man, turned heel and left without another word, leaving the 4th, 6th and 10th to themselves.

For the next few minutes, each sat in complete silence. Rukia was busy pondering over her resurrection, as well as her trip to the human world with Grimmjow in tow…. Who coincidently, was thinking along the same lines.

Ulquiorra simply sat, staring emotionlessly at the 'sun' of Las Notches. Rukia was the first to break the silence, as she shifted and poked the grumbling 6th multiple times on the forehead, before simple punching him out of his stupor.

"The hell was that for, midget?" he roared, pointing accusingly at the now, innocent looking ex-shinigami.

"What for? I didn't do anything, right Ulqui-nii?" she asked, shyly, batting her eyelashes and rubbing her foot in the dirt.

Ulquiorra smirked inwardly, as she tormented the blue-haired sexta. He decided it was too much of an opportunity to pass up, and joined in with her game.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Grimmjow." He replied monotonously, although Rukia caught the slight gleam of enjoyment in his emerald eyes.

"Asshole!" Grimmjow snarled raising his fist.

It was always 2 against 1…so not bloody fair.

He was going to make that midget pay…. Before he realized it, he felt small arms snake around his own as blood rushed to his face.

"The hell're you doin'?" he snapped, trying to appear not the least bit surprised or embarrassed at her actions. Once her arms were fully encased around his, she allowed her smirk to cross her lips as she turned to grin at the man beside her.

"We're off to the human world, remember the 'deal'?" she stated, not really asking, just pointing out the obvious.

"Later, Ulqui-nii!" she yelled with the grin plastered in place, and with a wave of her hand, both her and the blue-haired man disappeared.

Grimmjow was considered by others, as well as himself to be brash, arrogant, bloodthirsty and maybe and tad sadistic…but never ignorant. Granted, there were countless things he had yet to discover, and yet he never allowed himself to be ignorant…especially, when it concerned one Kuchiki Rukia.

She was, and is a master at the art of acting, so much so that it was extremely difficult to detect where the lies began and where the truth ended.

If her acting and attitude had one simple flaw, it would definitely be her eyes.

No matter how much she guarded it, and attempted to stop it, her real emotions and thoughts always remained swirling in their violet depths.

That is exactly why Grimmjow paid the utmost attention when she voiced that they were going to travel to the human world.

He observed carefully the fake spark of joy when she spoke, concentrating on what lay beneath the innocent sounding sentence. It didn't take him long however, to see what she was attempting to hide… Beneath the 'joy', her eyes were stone cold, completely unwavering and unchanging….it meant that whatever she wanted to do there, was serious. So much so, that he could actually see the tell tale signs of fear slipping into her gaze….

_Rukia…just what are you about to do?_


	8. Deal

**Author's Note: Sorry for slow update, I will try for once a week, so please bare with me. Surprisingly, this whole ordeal actually has a plot! I know right, amazing. I am horrible at throwing hints, but if you pick 'em up, then you deserve cookies. I skipped a week on purpose, not because I'm lazy, and not because this plot was pulled out of my ass at the last minute. I did it because it was easier to set up the plot without writing chapters about it, so I'm going to use flashbacks instead. Anyways, excuse my horrible spelling and sorry excuse for the Japanese names. As always, thanks for reading and reviews are always appreciated.**

She ran across the desolate wasteland as fast as her delicate legs could carry her. Her small frame nimbly dodged and avoided the few obstacles in the way of her destination….her destination?

Simple.

Away.

As far away as possible.

She could feel the blue-haired man following close behind, just as she had intended. She could use sonido…it would be much faster, but that would use reiatsu, and that would destroy the purpose of hiding it.

So, instead of using her exceptional sonido capabilities, here she was running like an ordinary human.

Ironic... really.

She was reluctant to admit it, but it was difficult, running like this while keeping a close watch on her reiatsu. If she let it leak in the slightest, then he would be after her.

Aizen….he was always after her…

She had yet to tell Grimmjow of her motives, but she would in time.

Right now though?

It was important they escape first.

She wasn't stupid….she could see the way the three ex captains glanced at her behind her back….she was no fool.

Being a hollow…. Being an arrancar, was no different….being a creature born from that emotion, meant that she could sense it easily…'_fear'_.

She almost cracked up laughing….those bastards feared her!

They knew what they were doing….they damn well knew how dangerous she would become!

So why did they do it?

Why did they steal her life, attempting to turn her into some sort of killing machine?

No matter how much she wanted to let go of all her pesky emotions, she was incapable of it…It was those emotions that kept her going…it was her heart that steeled her resolve….

She was not ignorant.

She could tell they attempted to keep it in check, but she could see it. In the way they spoke…in the way they treated her….they feared what they have created…. She couldn't help but grin maliciously at this….definitely. They should fear what they've created.

The one with the brown hair…. Her 'creator' and apparent 'destroyer'….he was the ONLY one she could say without a doubt…didn't fear her…

He knew what he had done, and embraced it fully….

She sighed.

He wasn't stupid either….

He knew what he'd created, and the only possible conclusion is that he isn't familiar with the emotion…. Maybe he just assumes he can dispose of he when she's done her job?

…in fact, she was willing to bet that was his plan.

Use her, exploit her, then dispose of her….

She didn't bother to hide her lips curling in disgust.

Over the past week, more of her memories had returned….the one with the bright orange hair was the centre of many, but still….Aizen….she remembered how she used to feel around Ichimaru, who seems now to have the positions reversed.

Touscen….he may be blind, but to a hollow, fear was like a sixth sense. She could sense his just as easily, as she could sense his disgust at what she was.

She briefly wondered what the point was…why would he follow someone if he hated it so much?

If he hated what he was using to achieve his goal?

That made her laugh.

It sounded just like her!

She grunted, as her ankle twisted sharply because she failed to spot the slightly upturned rock. Gasping for breath after having it knocked out, she grasped her ankle, attempting to relive some of the pain. She really didn't have time for this…they didn't have much time.

She just prayed that Grimmjow was not far behind.

She would need his help now, more than ever…..

Grimmjow wasn't an idiot… he knew that because she wasn't using sonido and was simply running, that she was being careful. Hell, her reiatsu had been damn near insensible from a few hours ago.

Right now, he couldn't sense the brat at all!

He was simply following her footsteps in the sand, as well as her occasional figure, silhouetted on the horizon. He knew instantly when she had previously mentioned traveling to the human world that something was up.

Going THERE would be practically the only way to avoid Aizen's watchful eye, even if for a short period of time. No…he could tell by looking into her eyes, there was much more to this than it seemed. She wasn't simply running to the human world for some vacation, or to relax…no, he saw it...with every breath she took, every glance and forced smile… She was deadly serious about whatever she was returning to do.

On the outside, it would seem like everything in their relationship was the same as it was last week, but that couldn't be further from the truth….it all changed the night they observed the human world.

_{Flashback}_

After literally doing a kiss and run, Grimmjow was currently sitting in his room, trying desperately but still failing, to understand why he acted like he did around her…. He had never, and I mean NEVER felt this way before.

Hell, it was weird enough for a hollow to 'feel' at all, but to feel these kinds of emotions?

It was damn wrong!

Maybe it was the hogyoku that bonded inside her soul that drew him to her?

That was a bullshit excuse and he knew it. It had nothing to do with that damn thing and he knew it…. It was just…her.

The way she acted around him, they way her eyes dulled when bored, and lit up when he mentioned that stupid rabbit she was obsessed with….the way her petit hands fit perfectly inside his larger, calloused ones…..the was her frame melded together perfectly with his, as if two pieces of a puzzle….it was everything…hell! Even the way her cold, collected reitsu clashed with his hot, wild one when they were in close proximity, sending electric jolts down his spine…

He sighed heavily to himself… he hoped to whatever god that the hollows looked to, that he had not just ruined whatever they had together.

He growled in frustration, unable to contain these writhing emotions.

He hated it… he hated how he acted around her, he hated that she could make him feel like this…and most of all, he hated how it felt so damn good!

He wanted to be able to go numb again, and not have to deal with this emotional crap. Throw him a sword and he'd beat you in a physical fight…but a fight of mentality?

A fight against his own emotions?

That was something he could admit that he would never win…

After releasing his frustrations, via an unusual method of ripping everything in his room to shreds, he decided that it was as much her fault as it was his. It was her fault for making him fell this way, and that's why she should take the blame… in fact, instead of destroying his few positions; he decided to tell her everything he'd just discovered.

He barely got two steps outside when he felt it…he felt her reiatsu spike then drop drastically, as if extremely distressed. After knowing the violent midget for less than a week, he could already decipher most of her moods via her reiatsu.

And this…this was inner turmoil.

He had only felt it twice before….once when she was gaining her memories back via Aizen….and the second time, only hours before in their little trip to the human world.

He used sonido towards her room, as his instincts of protectiveness kicked in. Whoever the hell hurt her like this, he was going to kick their ass! Well, unless it was himself. If it was he who hurt her, then he'd gladly let her kick his ass just this once… as long as she felt better after.

It only took him a moment to reach her door, but found himself hesitating whether to enter or not. He was brought back to reality by hearing an almost silent whimper from the other side of the door.

Ripping the door off its hinges, literally, he charged into the room, breaking the tense silence with a loud crash.

He instantly spotted her figure, curled up into the fetal position on the bed, her face scrunched up in the throes of a nightmare. Her arms were wrapped around her knees, and her face was buried between them as her hair spilt messily over her shoulders. Grimmjow could help but gasp….never…not once had he seen the rewound '_Ice Princess'_ look so…vulnerable.

Reacting on pure instinct, he walked over as softly as he could, towards where she was sitting. She was still shaking slightly, with her eyes screwed shut, so he guessed she was still deep asleep.

Should he wake her up?

He wasn't sure.

He decided to offer what little comfort he could in a moment like this, so he crawled over the mattress so he was now position right next to her. Her tiny frame reacted instinctively, leaning towards the newfound heat source.

Once her cheek connected with his shoulder, her eyes shot open instantly leaving her mouth wide in shock. He simply kept staring into her amethyst orbs, clearly viewing the sorrow currently engulfing them.

She blinked slowly, taking in the surroundings, before turning to face the man next to her. He could instantly tell she wasn't capable of arguing at the moment, so he decided to allow her to confine with him. Reaching with his right arm around her petit body, he pushed her into his chest, allowing his arm to rest upon her back.

She was stiff for a moment, before relaxing into his embrace and snaking her arms around his neck as well as burrowing her face into his chest. He wondered briefly why this action seemed so right, before leaning down and kissing her forehead comfortingly. She glanced up at him, with wide eyes, before closing them slowly.

She recounted her nightmare in explicit detail, admitting how much it hurt and scared her. She told him that it only had this much of an effect, because in her dreams and nightmares, it seemed the memories felt real, and she could feel again.

She was shuddering uncontrollably by the time she finished, and all the blue-haired man could do was hold her tightly and never let go.

He was more than glad to comply.

After that night, it became a ritual of sorts. She would fall asleep before being caught in a nightmare; he would come and console her for the few ungodly hours before sunrise. To the blue-haired Espada's surprise, he learned more about her old friends than he could remember, along with the carrot-top. Yeah…that one especially…he seemed to appear in all her nightmares….

He growled deeply, low and threatening…that orange haired bastard would pay for hurting her like this…

_{End flashback}_

He was so caught up in the memories; he had yet to realize the midget was crouched over a few feet in front of him, attempting to soothe her twisted ankle. Not slowing down in the slightest, he managed to charge into her, sending both parties flying opposite directions.

She still managed to land almost gracefully, all the while limping and scowling as if her life depended on in. He on the other hand, managed to land face first into the land, somehow burrowing deep enough that only his two legs were visible, which happened to be flailing wildly.

"Grimmjow….we have to go." She managed to whisper, in a voice so quiet and deadly, he was sure that any argument against her would leave him with an array of broken bones and bruises. Still unable to free himself from the confines of his sandy tomb, the raven haired arrancar decided that he needed to hurry up.

In turn, she decided on the fastest method of 'helping' the blue-haired sexta, which involved her foot, and let's just say, a part of him that never again wanted to be reintroduced to it.

Taking one hobbling step forward, she rammed her twisted ankle into the sand where she estimated it would hurt the most. Her efforts were not unrewarded, as on cue, a yelp of pain echoed around the wasteland as the 6th Espada shot out of the sand like a bullet.

He was 30 feet in the air in less than a second, before plummeting down and holding the area between his legs for dear life.

A string of curses left his mouth, that were so 'colorful' she must admit, could make even her blush slightly.

"We have to get going. Now." She snapped, interrupted his muttering with a cold glare. He nodded in response, already knowing that they didn't have enough time to waste it like this.

Before he could reply, or even comment for that matter, she grabbed him by his collar and ripped open a gargantuan with her free hand. Dragging the surprisingly light Grimmjow through the darkness, all the while limping and panting from her extended run beforehand, her mind was still in other places.

It took the blue-haired man a moment to realize he was being dragged on his ass, by a limping midget, before he stood abruptly and switched positions. Deciding to be slightly kinder than she was to him, he threw her over his shoulder like some form of baggage, before running off towards the exit.

She didn't complain, seeing as the pain in her ankle was getting slightly frustrating, not enough to make her stop, but painful enough to distract her mind from the frantic planning and organizing it was currently undergoing.

In less than no time, both she and Grimmjow were standing in the night sky of Karakura town, hundreds of meters above the city.

Grimmjow was brought back to reality by the sound of tearing and ripping. Eyeing his surroundings worryingly, he attempted to determine the cause of the disturbance.

He instantly knew it was coming from behind him, and as he turned around, he spotted the midget holding his sleeve triumphantly, having ripped it off his shirt. He growled menacingly, his frustration building by the second, even more so after seeing her victorious smirk.

"The hell's that for midget?" he groaned, as she began to shift her weight on his shoulder.

"idiot…I'm just making something for the ankle, ya know?" she couldn't stop the foolhardy grin that spread across her face, after seeing the mix of horror and acceptance on his, after he came to the conclusion that she was….right.

After successfully tying the sleeve tightly around her throbbing ankle, she grabbed his non-torn to shreds sleeve, pulling him down with her to the town below.

"Where we goin'? No one can see us, ya know?" he asked, sarcasm dripping his is voice.

"Shut up, you'll see."

To his horror, he did indeed see where she was intending on dragging him.

Right in front of them, was a….large was an understatement… it looked like some kind of warehouse…filled with freaking' clothes?

Was she seriously takin' him to go shopping!

What the hell!

In wasn't until the wind rushed through his hair and whistled past his ears that he realized the midget, previously standing next to him, grasping his shirt had disappeared into the store. He groaned at the thought of actually going inside and finding her…

To his relief, she appeared a moment later, hands not empty. She was carrying two large black cloaks, both looking slightly too big to fit himself, let alone the midget.

She threw one at his face, as he caught it on reflex while she threw hers over her shoulders, and pulling the hood over her face, so it hung low. He follow her actions, doing the same with his, and to his surprise, it had the same effect.

Right now, they were two unrecognizable strangers, heading…..wait, where the hell were they heading?

"Oy, midget! Where're we heading'?" he asked, unable to halt the curiosity seeping into his tone.

She replied with a smirk and the oh so famous "You'll see." Before soidno'ing off into the night.

He followed close behind for minutes, still attempting to keep his reiatsu in check. She was doing a damn good job with hers, especially seeing as he was less than a foot away from her, and yet he still couldn't feel her at all. Abruptly, she stopped moving and sunk to the ground, eyeing the rundown looking shop in front of them.

He once again, barreled into her although this time, neither went flying. She held her ground, before walking slowly up to the rundown looking place.

"Where're we?" he grunted, slightly confused as to why exactly they were….in an old looking shop.

"Urahara's." she replied simply, before walking forward towards the entrance. Still standing dumbfounded, Grimmjow had yet to move and was simply gawking at where she was heading.

"Listen, just don't say anything and follow me." She commanded in a quiet yet controlled voice. He knew that voice..She meant business.

He almost chuckled to himself, which ended up as a loud snort…the owner of this shop was going to have a hell of a time, that's for sure.

Urahara was uneasy….Uneasy was a rather huge understatement, but ever since the faithful encounter with the arrancar a week earlier, a terrible sense of foreboding had settled in the pit of his stomach.

Everything appeared to be going alright…the Inoue girl was protected in soul society, Yastora-san and Abarai-san were both training, Kurosaki-san was with the Vizard's, and Ishida-san was training as well….so why did he feel like he had missed something important?

Tch, another understatement.

Important?

It felt like the whole war depended on whatever he had missed…

He sighed at returned to monitoring the training between Abarai and the human. They were coming along nicely, although he could already tell they would be no match for an Espada if one decided to show up. The power level of the one that had shown up the week before was beyond frightening. Not only did it beat Kurosaki-san to a bloody pulp, but it could have taken the life of Kuchiki-san.

He sighed again…he should be happy, glad even that no life was lost.

Still….everything was perfect.

That was the problem….everything was too perfect…almost as if…no… it couldn't be….right?

This, perfection was true right?

He wasn't sure.

With Aizen and his illusions, he could never be sure… Suddenly his stomach did a back flip as he felt a familiar reiatsu….

No…it couldn't be…..

It was small….so very tiny, leaking sluggishly but approaching rapidly. There was no doubt about it… it was the Espada….no. 6.

Why was it here?

Urahara used flash step to the centre of the store.

He could tell that the Espada was waiting outside….along with something else…. It also was achingly familiar, and yet….he couldn't place it.

In truth, he couldn't feel their reiatsu at all, but something at its presence set off all the warning buttons in his brain. He was reeled back from his state of shock when the thin door was pulled open slowly, revealing two figures.

They both wore long, midnight cloaks, far too large with the hoods drawn, concealing their identity perfectly.

The first was….short. Very much so… it looked only half the size of the figure behind it, and yet it moved with a grace he himself could never hope to achieve.

The one behind, Urahara guessed was the Espada that Kurosaki fought.

"Urahara Kisuke. Bring Shihouin Yorichi and we have something to discuss."

That voice….. Even as it spoke, somehow he couldn't properly hear it. It felt like something was blocking his mind from recognition…

He usually wasn't one to follow orders, but he could already tell fighting these two would be an early death sentence. If did what they said and alerted Yorichi, maybe, just maybe they might stand a chance.

Using flash step, he disappeared and a moment later, reappeared holding a very-pissed off looking cat.

Yorichi craned her neck around, spotting the two strangers as the cold dread grew in the pit of her stomach. She disappeared out of Kisuke's arms before reappearing in her human form, with clothes of course.

She looked to Urahara, who surprisingly looked extremely worried and cautious.

He began to lead the small group to a room in the back, complete with soundproofing walls so no one would overhear their conversation. The two figures knelt down, the large behind the smaller one, so Yorichi guessed that the shorter one was the leader of the two.

"We're here to propose a deal." She spoke, her voice cold and devoid of any emotions. Urahara eyed Yorichi wearily before turning back to their intruders.

"What kind of deal, may I ask?" he asked, attempting to appear as calm and proposed as everyone else in the room.

"Simple really. You make us a memory modifier; keep my existence a secret, as well as providing us information on everything…." This peaked Urahara's interests. He wasn't one for betraying soul society, but this deal seemed interesting.

"And what do we get in return?" he asked in a sly voice, raising an eyebrow.

"We will protect your fighters….and I will show you my identity." This had Urahara almost jumping out of his seat. Sure, these people were absolute strangers and he had a strong suspicion one of them was an Espada, but they were rebelling against Aizen… and they didn't specify what KIND of information they needed…

"I need a minute to think, but I think if you show us your identity, we will keep the not telling anyone part of the deal." The figure simply nodded in reply before slowly standing upright.

The limp was not gone unnoticed by the occupants in the room, who were all wondering what exactly happened.

"Let me ask you something Urahara Kisuke…. What do you know about the Hogyoku you created?" it asked solemnly, as it remained completely motionless. He was about to reply before she cut him off again.

"Did you know? Did you know that once it bonded with a soul, it could not bond with another?" it snapped, anger, sorrow and pain all evident in its voice. Urahara attempted to find his voice but failed miserably….

In truth, he had suspected something like that, but after it was removed from Kuchiki-san, he dismissed that theory.

"Why…why do you want to kill Aizen?" Urahara asked, after finding his voice again. Its gaze turned upon him, and even through the fabric of the hood, he could feel its eyes burning a hole into his chest.

"He stole my life…" it responded, voice thick with agony.

Slowly, it moved one hand towards its chest and the other towards its hood. In an instant, as the sound of ripping echoed in the small room, two hearts stopped beating.

Both Urahara and Yorichi's eyes widened tenfold as their jaws hung open in shock. Here standing before them, was Kuchiki Rukia, with not only a hollow mask adorning her forehead, but a hole running directly through her body, right where her heart should have been…


	9. Reasons

**Author's Note: Wow, this took me ages to write. Sorry for the wait everyone!**

**Just curious, does anyone actually ready this story anymore? I was wondering because I have another plot bunny hopping' around my skull and was wondering whether I should pick it up and drop this, or pick it up and continue this, or just continue this….**

**Anyway, enough rambling. FF is being an asshole and not letting me update so here it goes!**

**As always, thank you for reading, please review and tell me what you think.**

**(and cookies if you can tell me who I quoted at the end XD)**

"K-Kuchiki-san…" Urahara stuttered in a slight daze…there was just no way this could be true, because that would mean… no, he couldn't think like that.

It was difficult enough to comprehend what just happened, and he could already see Yourichi was having the same dilemma. No matter how much his brain screamed that this was NOT Kuchiki Rukia, he gut instincts told him otherwise.

Now, being the sort of man he was, usually it was his brain that prevailed in a situation such at this…but…this one time, his gut instinct was too strong. He didn't know how, but he just knew that the arrancar before him was the very same person that Kurosaki fought all of Soul Society for…. Dammit, if he ever found out her fate, his resolve would be destroyed….that evil bastard Aizen…he knew damn well how to lower their morale…

"When…" was the only question that escaped his lips as she stared at him expectantly?

There were so many others, like how, who, where, and why….but right now, he needed to know how long they had been fooled. She glanced in his direction, amethyst eyes glazed over in memories.

She sighed lightly, glancing at her partner who remained motionless, and speechless. Giving a curt nod in his direction, she turned back to her interrogator/s.

"The arrancar attack, a little over a week." She replied in such a cold tone, she could have given Byakua a run for his money.

The reality of the situation crashed upon the ex-captains shoulders at her answer….a week…. A whole week they had been fooled by some….illusion.

How did they not realize?

How the hell didn't he see through it?..

Seeing both their downtrodden expressions, something stirred deep inside her missing heart… was it compassion?

For some unknown reason, she felt the need to reassure them, even though when she thought about it, they SHOULD feel like this.

"Don't blame yourself. As you know, his illusions aren't perfect… but it was just bad timing on your behalf. No one talked to the fake after the incident, and then it left for soul society, so you couldn't have known…" her voice softened immensely, turning into a motherly tone, as if she just caught her children with their hands in the cookie jar, lecturing them with a disappointed tone.

Her partner however, was left gob smacked after her reassurance. He had only seen this side of her once, when she first beat him in a sparring session, leaving a large dent in his pride. He remembered how she talked to him afterwards, reassuring him and somehow returning the confidence that he thought he lost.

It was still hilarious though, to watch her use that tone with ex-captains who were hundreds of years older than she. Though somehow, even being so much younger in physical age, she actually seemed like one of the eldest of the odd bunch…probably because of the last week.

He didn't know the horrors of turning into a hollow. Sure, he was a simple hollow at one point, but turning into one?...

He didn't remember.

Supposedly it hurt like a bitch, but he didn't remember.

She did. And yet….she was still able to smile, laugh and pout…. She was strong… and stubborn…that was for sure.

"Listen, I'm also here to warn you…" she spoke up, drawing the attention of the whole room, bringing all three occupants out of their musing. She eyed Urahara suspiciously before continuing with her speech.

"I'm sure you've noticed, Urahara, and let me tell you now…your suspicions were correct…. Inoue Orihime is going to be targeted."Yourichi gasped in surprise…Urahara had yet to mention this suspicion to her…

The man in question's eyes darkened significantly, before he fingered the hem of his robe nervously. He nodded simply at her accusation, allowing his hat the cover up his already unreadable expression.

"You can't save her…" she whispered, her eyes beginning to bore holes into Uruhara's head, and yet, somehow she was looking past him… Urahara closed his eyes slowly in dismay. He had theories that all told him the exact same thing as she was right now, but it still felt much worse having it voiced out loud.

"Soul Society was a smart place to send her…but… when she comes back, she will be targeted."

Rukia responded, her voice thick with an unreadable emotion… Yourichi had had enough of this, talking as if she wasn't present. She slammed her fist on the table, the sound echoing repeatedly in the small room. She scowled, glancing at the cloaked figures.

She still couldn't fully accept they had lost Kuchiki…. And now she was claiming that they were going to lose the Inoue girl? Just how did she know?

As if reading her very thoughts, a soft voice echoed through the room.

"No matter how hard you try, she will eventually be taken. I doubt she will be harmed in any way, but the orders have already been given... Aizen, he doesn't want her life, only her abilities." Yourichi swallowed the lump forming in her throat… she was utterly speechless at not only, the absolute authority in her speech, but the way it was mixed with a gentle voice and a death threat…

"When." Urahara asked quietly, still extreeemly uncomfortable with the idea of the girl being kidnapped while being completely powerless to defend her.

"3 weeks. It was a good idea to have everyone train, but they are still a long way off of any of the Espada." She contemplated solemnly, still weighing both sides in a fight, determining the outcome silently in her head.

"If we fought now, who would be the victor?" he asked quietly. He wasn't overly confident in their abilities, only curious to see how they would fare at their current standard.

"With soul Society's help…. Your side may be able to down a few of the weaker Espada. That is IF you have at least 2 captains on each one, along with the Vaizard…." She replied, weakly. At their current standard, they truly stood no chance against Aizen and his army.

Even with her not contributing on the battlefield, they still held no hope.

"What Espada are you two, if I may ask?" he pondered abruptly, changing the subject completely.

The man seated behind Rukia stood up, taking the queue to introduce himself. Pulling the cloak of his head, revealing his mop of azure hair along with aqua eyes, both the ex-captains were fixated on his image….it was the Espada that came to the human world the other week..

"Grimmjow Jaquerjacks, Espada no. 6…. Midget, it's your turn." He grunted, pulling on her arm roughly so she stood up. She bowed with a devilish grin plastered on her face.

"Rukia, 10th Espada." Grimmjow raised an eyebrow at her statement, before bursting out into uncontrollable laughter.

Rukia on the other hand, scowled fiercely at his response while the other two occupants of the room were stuck on what the hell just happened….weren't these two meant to be powerful hollows that ripped souls to shreds, and here they were fighting like 4 year olds…the hell?

Before he could even ask what exactly was so hilarious, the blue-haired Espada beat him to an explanation.

"10th Espada, really? You still usin' that title? Hah! When you say it like that, it sounds like I'm stronger than you!" he managed to wheeze out, in-between laughter and a surprise coughing fit that was now taking hold.

She growled dangerously, before slamming her foot into an area that had already been '_visited_' by her foot in the past half hour.

The blue-haired Espada previously rolling around in a laughing fit, was now rolling around and howling in pain, clutching desperately at his 'manly' parts. Urahara couldn't help but cringe at her violent treatment of 'that' area..damn he remembered how much her kicks hurt and that looked especially painful.

After a good few minutes, the blue-haired man was back on his feet, taunting the other Espada while they threw insults back and forth.

It was a….strange sight to say the least for the two ex-captains…they weren't completely sure whether to drag them away from each other, or to just join in the argument…

Luckily, their problem was solved for them as the 6th turned his focus back to them with a prideful smirk adorning his lips.

"The '10th' Espada, actually translates into being the '0' Espada…the strongest of us all…along with-" he was cut off with a fist to the jaw before he could complete the sentence.

The now, very pissed midget was 10 seconds from tearing the 6th a new one, which could inevitably destroy the whole of Karakura town. She turned her attention back to the baffled ex-captains before speaking surprisingly calmly, compared to the frustration she felt on the inside.

"Can you feel it?..." she asked, kneeling down in front of them, head lowered to the ground and hands on her lap, as if praying. Urahara eyed her wearily before attempting to sense her reiatsu…it HAD to be there, it couldn't just disappear.

Yourichi soon realized what he was attempting to do, and joined in the frivolous search for ANY trace of her reiatsu.

"Impossible..." he muttered angrily. No matter how he searched, he could find any trace of it whatsoever. Even with the 6th Espada, hiding his as best as he couldn't, it still oozed out in the slightest…and yet, there was nothing for Rukia.

"I don't understand, the only other time I haven't been able to find your reiatsu was when you were in that gi….." he didn't manage to finish his sentence as his heart leaped into his throat and his eyes widened to the size of saucers.

"Gigai…" he finished, squeakily, his heart thundering in his chest so loud he was sure the whole room could hear it.

"So you've figured it out then…..yes, it is in me." She replied looking more stotic that he had ever seen Byakua appear.

"T-The Hygoku…" he muttered, as he heard Yourichi gasp in the background.

"I'm sure you've worked it out already, Urahara. Once it bonded with me in that gigai, it could not destroy that link, until either I or it is destroyed.

Usually, it would make more sense to just kill me…but…. I have a theory that it may go berserk if the bond it shares with my soul is severed…"

Urahara nodded silently, already having gone over that theory countless times… it made perfect sense… all of it…wait. There was one flaw… and that was with her reasoning…

"Then why would you turn on Aizen?" To the surprise of every occupant of the small room, an almost remorseful smile crept its way across her lips, her expression full of regret and unnamable emotions.

"Because, he is exactly like you in a way, Urahara."

More gasps echoed in the small room, one especially loudly seeing as Urahara didn't really appreciate being called out on similarities between himself and what he believed to be the devils incarnate.

"Before you retort, think about it….When you realized what you had created, how much power it held….what was the first thing you tried to do?" she asked, her voice lowering to an almost whisper. She wore a wistful expression, although the immeasurable sorrow pooled in her amethyst orbs told a different story of what she was feeling.

Uruhara's mouth ran dry as her question reverberated within his mind and its answer became painfully obvious.

"I….tried to destroy it." She simply nodded closing her eyes in an almost relaxed stance.

"Exactly. He knows what he's created, and just like you, I have no doubt that he will try to eliminate the threat at the first opportunity." Her statement left an eerie silence in its wake as none of the other occupants of the room could find anything to say in the situation.

Urahara was the first to respond, and even though he could see her reasoning, he didn't understand how she could place her life, and those around her on a whim.

"How can you be so sure?" he asked solemnly, eyes not leaving the wooden plank placed conveniently at his feet…anything to distract him from looking into those once bright, violet orbs.

She sighed heavily, knowing all the while that question would soon or later pop up. She was secretly hoping it wouldn't…not because the answer was terrible or anything, just simply the fact that it was damn near impossible to explain to anyone who hadn't experienced it first-hand.

"Try imagine you are like me, Urahara.

Try imagine the mindset of someone in my position…. See if you can imagine what it feels like to have your life torn away, then roughly taped back together.

There's no denying it…I'm a hollow.

An arrancar, an Espada…all just titles. I'm still a god damn hollow.

After spending over 50 years fighting them….to become one?

I thought I would be hurt.

I thought that maybe I would be angry, maybe I'd be in pain…. But you know what?

The worst part was… I wasn't!

I couldn't feel any of that….

If you can imagine what it feels like to lose your heart, then be reborn out of one pure emotion…..

'_fear_'….

To a hollow, it's like a 6th sense.

We can smell it, we can taste it, see it, hear it, we can just sense it anywhere…. We were born off it, and we thrive on it.

No matter how much one tries to hide it, they cannot hide that emotion from creatures like us….that goes for Aizen's group too.

It's always there, just beneath the surface…. They fear me….they fear this… this _monster_ they've created.

I don't blame them either…. I am nothing but a threat to them….and the most logical course of action is simple….remove the threat."

She paused slightly in her speech, giving her words time to sink in.

The truth was, she began to feel again, at first it was just the slight joy of seeing the blue-haired sexta's face, but it grew into something more.

Over the past week, it had evolved so much, she felt almost….almost, like she did before.

And yet…. The hole where her heart continued to remain empty, writhing and destroying the emotions that coursed through her veins… constantly reminding her of what she was….what she had become.

"I'm sure you know, Urahara….Aizen isn't like the rest…. Just removing me would be a waste of potential…..he is going to use me, use me against the place I used to call home, then dispose of what's left of my hollow shell…. And I just can't sit back and let that happen….so…. so please!"

For the hundredth time that night, gasps echoed in the small room as her voice cracked and she feel to her knees, pleading with the two ex-captains in front of her.

To her shock, she felt the warm of a large hand upon her head, gently ruffling her hair and her mask. Urahara was smiling softly down at her begging form, with Yourichi leaning over reaching out to do the same.

"We agree to your deal.." whispered Yourichi, not completely trusting her own voice to stay strong.

True the ex captain had been through many painful situations, but this came close to the top…. To have your life stolen from you, and still be able to stand and fight… Kuchiki truly had a strong heart….even it if it wasn't materialized anymore…. It was still there…and that was the most important part.

"Thank you…" her voice was barely above a whisper as she remained on the ground.

Her companion soon joined her, moving himself next to her and placing one arm around her shoulders, bringing her to his chest.

This movement caught both the ex-captains by surprise, but neither had the heart to deny either of the arrancar the comfort they appeared to desperately need.

They could both see the genuine concern and adoration shining in the male's eyes, that shocked them both to their very core.

_So hollows could feel…huh? _

It took another few minutes of blissful silence before the petit arrancar stood and gracefully offered a hand to the ex captains. They both shook it in turn, as Grimmjow followed in suit, roughly offering his. Urahara blinked in surprise as he felt something resting in his palm after the handshake.

Glancing down, he saw money stuffed into his hand as he turned back up to see a smirking Rukia and a scowling Grimmjow.

"The retard here needs a gigai…"

"I'm not a retard, midget!" he growled in response, pointing an accusing finger in her direction.

"Sure, sure kitty. And I'm the tooth fairy…" she replied in a bored tone, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

From there the verbal abuse escalated, as Urahara quickly excused himself to grab the gigai they ordered.

Yourichi was left alone a room with the two arguing Espada, both shocked and blushing at some of the colorful words they used….hell, she didn't even know what half of these words meant, and yet everyone seemed to get a reaction from the other arguing party.

It was a wonder they had not torn the store down yet in their quarrel….

Urahara managed to return just as the fight turned physical, by the means of Rukia's foot planted firmly in his face. He studied the 6th's smirking face, then both Rukia's and Yourichi's, and was left to ponder over what the blue-haired man had said or done to earn such a response.

He dragged the empty gigai into the open, before showcasing it to the two now captivated arrancar.

"This one is for you, Grimmjow. Your reitsu should be untraceable, as well as unidentifiable as hollow reitsu. Rukia, I'm sure your old will work find for you…."

She simply nodded in response before turning to Grimmjow, watching him in amusement as he tried to figure out just how it worked. After a few failed attempts at merging with the gigai, the first trying to dive bomb right in, and the second attempting to climb in through the mouth, he eventually merged successfully, cussing all the while about the stupidity of the whole thing.

Rukia let lose a dry, humorless chuckle before turning back to Urahara one last time before she left.

"Listen and listen well. I'm only going to say this once…. Be careful around Aizen." Urahara didn't bother to hide the smirk that spread across his lips at her warning…. Why did she think he wouldn't?

"After working under that….man…. I can honestly say, he is the only one who doesn't fear me….

And after serving him I know this better than anyone….

Everything is a lie.

Its bleak to even attempt to look past them….they are ALL lies….sometimes I doubt there is even a truth behind it all. IF you can see past his every comment… past his simple smirks and chuckles…. That man….

He himself is a lie.

I doubt Aizen Souske even exists… all this shit….this goddamn war….everything is just a bloody game to him.

Even obtaining such power as I have…. If you can see past his eyes…. When you can see past the constant glaze her covers them with… what's behind there…. It even chills me to the bone.

Be prepared, Urahara, for soon…the betrayer will become… the betrayed…"


	10. Home'

**Author's Note: Woo done finally!**

**This chapter took me ages, as well as writing the pilot for my other story. **

**I released it as well, so please check it out and tell me what you think. **

**This chapter was difficult to write, though I did my best. **

**Cookies to uknowthatoneperson for getting it right XD. I am such a nerd…**

**Anyways, 4k words, woo! **

**As always thanks for reading, and please review and tell me what you think.**

* * *

A thick silence filled the air after her ominous last words. As soon as they had left her lips, both she and her companion had disappeared instantly.

Urahara guessed they were headed back to find her old gigai…. Boy, was she in for a surprise at who would be waiting for her there. Turning to his female companion, a slightly anxious grin spread across his face as his eyes twinkled with mischief.

"Think we should have mentioned what'd be waiting for her, Yourichi-san?" Her head dropped instantly at his words, feeling slightly guilty about not warning the poor girl…wait, no, arrancar….but still. She would be in for a shock..

* * *

After grabbing her companion's hair roughly, she used sonido to get out of there as quickly as possible, for two main reasons… the first being they were still shinigami and she was a hollow…and the second, was she didn't want anyone to ruin the absolute, pure, awesomeness of her last phrase…..

She swore it was all Kaien's fault she was a sucker for those cheesy lines…damn him.

She stopped moving abruptly as the Kurosaki Clinic came into view.

A hiss brought her back to reality as she gaped at the blue-haired man who was now trying to pry her fingers away from his mane.

Rukia tried desperately to stop the snicker that was she was about to let lose. After successfully untangling her petit but ridiculously strong hand from his hair, he silently glared at her before she lost it.

In seconds, she was clutching her sides, snickering as a shit-happy grin spread across her face.

"What the hell, midget?" the midget comment admittedly earned him a fierce scowl, along with an elbow to the ribs, but it was well worth it get rid of that stupid smirk.

"You hissed…" she replied, her voice cracking near the end before she fell into a laughing fit once more. Crossing his arms, he scowled and turned away cursing everything known to man for letting her hear him.

Her attitude soon sobered as she focused once more on the clinic looming on the horizon.

"Listen… I have a few things to…take care of. Wait for me here, okay?" she said, in a surprisingly gentle voice.

Damn this woman and her mood swings!

She was impossible to read!

He merely waved his hand in her direction before sauntering off to the lamp post he leaned on last time. Once he was seated and leaning against it, he closed his eyes slowly, allowing his mind to run blank, as the only thing that entered it was the soft reverberation of a certain raven-haired midget's shoes as they clacked against the road.

Her pace was significantly slower than it was when she had left Grimmjow's company.

She had an uneasy feeling that had conveniently settled itself in the pit of her stomach. It wasn't that she dreaded coming back here because of the memories or anything… god no, those often lead to soft smiles gracing her lips…but this time, it was…different.

She knew there was a spiritual presence waiting on the other side of that door….but she didn't recognize it.

She scowled silently, pulling the hood of her cloak over her head and down so that not even her eyes were visible.

Right now..she was the perfect stranger…all she needed to do was walk over there, get her gigai and walk back…so then why?

Why was it so damn difficult to get her limbs to comply, or to convince her palms not get clammy and sweat profoundly?

Why was she shaking as she reached the door and pulled it open, as it creaked at its hinges?

Was it because this was the Carrot-top's home?...

Was it because this used to be her's?...

Was it…because she didn't want to face who was on the inside?

Sure, she had played the scene out repeatedly in her head, thoroughly analyzing the possibilities of the damn strawberry actually being home, and judging by the lack of uncontrolled, flaring reiatsu, she guessed he wasn't…..

So then why!

Why her knees were weak as the ominous, inky blackness of the clinic greeted her.

She shouldn't be surprised….. Was she expecting someone to greet her?

Certainly not, but she sure as hell expected it. It was '_Hope for the best, prepare for the worst'_, always…and yet, when she opened the door to nothingness….why was there a small pang in her chest, exactly where her heart used to lie?

...Was she… '_hoping_', someone would be there?

Bitter disappointment soon mulled over into mild irritation as she took another step, sniffing the air as she read the spiritual presences in the small house.

First there was the sandy-haired twin with a constant smile…what was her name again?

She reached out into her memory, sifting through hundreds of years of memories in an instant finding what she was looking for. Various scenes involving the bruttete, flooded the raven-haired arrancar's mind as she watched the younger girl cook and clean for the household, still wearing a placid smile.

Yuzu….

That was her name.

Her presence was fairly weak, strong enough to barely feel undisguised spiritual pressures, but not strong enough to form a visual. That was….disheartening… so she could the emptiness and hunger of the hollows, but would never see the monsters they were….. She almost felt pity for the younger girl. Almost being the key word, as the raven haired girl silently remembered what it felt like to be pitied, and the blinding anger and pain it incited from her years ago.

Sighing to herself, she reached out to find the second reiatsu mingling with the others in the small space. This one was a great deal stronger than the first, holding the capabilities to rise to unimaginable strength.

The other twin…. Again she searched her memory bank for the young girl, until she found a reasonable one.

'Karin'.

She had raven hair, which ran to her shoulders, and had an expression similar to her brother's constant scowl, except hers was one of indifference. She remembered the girl being stronger than little Yuzu, more outspoken and brash, taking after her brother's traits. This girl's reiatsu was definitely high enough to perceive spirits, which included the hollows and the shinigami….damn.

She smiled to herself softly, as she felt another spiritual presence, emanating from upstairs the strawberry's room. This one was completely different, not quiet human, not hollow, not shinigami….it was a mod soul.

The mod soul named Kon…. She didn't even need to search her memories for the guy. His constant attacks and pouncing on her 'goddess-like valley's' left a memorable impression on her. Even though she often didn't see it at the time, she could see now the different emotions that swirled in his orbs, even while in the stuffed animal.

It was not simple adoration that floated about; there remained a deeper connection that she had originally thought, proven in how he managed to console her without knowing it.

She was secretly glad he was doing alright, the last time she saw him, he was sobbing his heart out, and it went without saying that it pained her to see the only person who remembered the real 'her' in pain. She closed her eyes in concentration, seeing as the mod soul's reiatsu was exceedingly difficult to pinpoint… He must be asleep.

She shook her head and snorted to herself silently, because after minutes of probing, she managed to hear him upstairs, obviously in a dream, but commenting about 'Nee_-sans valley's of the goddess_..'

That little pervert…though somehow, she wasn't the least bit angered. It did wonders to her wounded ego, finding solace that at least one person remembered her….

She resigned herself to searching the house for any other reiatsu….she reeled in shock when she felt an eerily familiar reiatsu drift from the other side of the room next to her….it was like the strawberry's….but yet, it wasn't. It was different…older, more mature, but at the same time it wasn't.

She closed her eyes, focusing on solely forming spirit threads to lead her to the culprit. She was beyond shocked when the threads revealed whoever it was on the other side of the door was a….shinigami…..

This would be difficult.

If she knew who it was, it would be much easier to react. She could plan out what she would say, and all the possible outcomes….and yet….. With that wall in the way, she had no idea.

She didn't know what to say, how to act and what to do, without knowing the unknown shinigami's identity.

Gulping back the bile that threatened to crawl up her throat, she sauntered across the room so she stood right behind the door.

She wanted…no needed to see who it was.

To see the owner of this reiatsu that was so familiar, yet at the same time, was…different. She grits her teeth while clenching her fists in a futile attempt to calm her skittering nerves.

She didn't want to fight here…not now, not yet.

If she was forced into it, then she would…but, she wanted to avoid that outcome at all costs. The reiatsu she'd have to use would attract unwanted attention from the hollows….and that would draw attention from the last person in the world she wanted to contact right now…Aizen…

She opened her eyes once she realized she had screwed them shut. Their violet depths shone brightly with resolve and determination….it was now or never.

She reached cautiously to the handle of the door, slowly, ever so slowly pulling it downwards before hearing the soft 'click', indicating that the door had opened.

Wearily, she began to pull the door open, as a rush of cold air hit her face and sailed past her ears from the other side. The room was illuminated by the pale moonlight, as it shone through the window, banishing the creeping shadows. In the centre of the small room, there was a small, circular table with a single chair pulled out.

There sat a man, she instantly recognized…. Hundreds of memories flooded her brain at the sight of him, and yet, in not a single one was he wearing what he was now.

The man….was Ichigo's father.

Kurosaki Isshin, who now wore the robes of a shinigami and a uncharacteristically solemn expression. His eyes were harder than she had ever seen them, and his right hand sat precariously on the hilt of his zanpakto.

"Who are you?" his deep voice reverberated through the small room, causing shivers to run up her spine…..It wasn't meant to be him….. No matter how she tried, she didn't believe she could hurt this man.

He had…done everything for her.

He had accepted her into their family with open arms, even going so far as to treat her as one of their own. She owed him so much…. Even without realizing it, her time at this household was the closest thing she ever felt to being 'wanted'.

And….if this man was a shinigami, it meant that the faithful night she gave up her powers to the strawberry…he must have been aware. He must have been aware that she slept in his closet, and lived with the family…..and yet, he didn't take her away….

She owes this man so much… and yet, here they were…. A hollow and a shinigami… it was so wrong...

At first, she thought she could be prepared for this encounter, having run through all the explanations she thought possible….but this was different.

She hadn't once thought that she'd have to face him…or that he would be a shinigami…though now that she thought about it, it did make sense…. She shook her head slowly, a heart-breaking smile spreading across her lips.

She allowed her walls to crumble, and then did something she never thought she would when she entered the house a mere minute ago.

* * *

Kurosaki Isshin was worried.

At first, Urahara had contacted him a little over 4 hours ago, with news of an unknown presence entering the human world.

After that call, he had been on edge, but the man's second call had sent him over the top. He had said that the presences were right outside his shop, and once of them was the sixth Espada who had attacked Karakura town the week before. He mentioned he suspected the second to be an Espada also, but said he couldn't sense any spiritual energy.

Of course, attempting to lighten the mood, he had merely joked at Urahara's ability to sense reiatsu. That was before the line went dead and a chill swept then. Ever since the phone call, he had been sitting up, waiting for any indication of trouble, any rise in reitsu…..anything at all would have calmed his anxiety.

Even if he had felt Uruhara's reiatsu spike, he would have had something to go off… and indication that something was wrong…but right now?

He had absolutely nothing…well, that was until he felt the Espada's presence approaching his house. He had his hand sitting precautious on his zanpakto's, and sat in wait.

To his surprise, the Espada had stopped approaching when it was a few blocks away; leaving him to wonder just what was going on….that was until he heard the front door creak open….

Sure, if could be a burglar or something, but he highly doubted it…

Was this what Kisuke was talking about?

He could tell something was there, but he couldn't feel it…and that set him on edge. He could hear the soft footsteps of whatever was on the other side of the wall approach the door…the thin barrier between him and the unknown enemy….

He gulped slowly, eyes completely focused on the door handle that was slowly turning downwards, before the door began to creak open.

He remained motionless, his eyes watching every move of the hooded figure that walked in. Once it spotted him, it immediately stopped in its tracks, as if it didn't expect him to be there.

He remained motionless, unable to move as the figure seemed to be in the same state. Eventually, the heavy silence began to weigh down on the ex-shinigami; until he asked who it was….not that he was expecting an answer.

No, he expected many things from the figure. He didn't expect an answer, but he expected a reply. Or for it to charge and attack him, yeah that wouldn't surprise him either…..But…Fate had a funny way of working out…

He didn't even see it MOVE! And in that millisecond, he felt its arms wrapping around his chest. It is all over…. _I'm about to die_… Were the only thoughts running through his mind…but….no pain came…. He looked down once he felt something wet touch his chest… they were tears…..

He stared down in shock as the figure slowly lifted its head. The hood didn't fall off, but he clearly saw two amethyst eyes glowing in the darkness, holding so much more sorrow than he remembered….

There was only one person those eyes could belong to….

So why was she here?

Why was she hugging him as if he would disappear?

"Rukia-chan?" He felt her stiffen slightly, as she took a single step backwards, appearing to hold her breath.

"Kurosaki-san….I'm so sorry.." she whispered, her eyes downcast. He hated how broken her tone sounded…. Every time he saw her with her son, she sounded so full of life, even when they were bickering….

Why did she sound so broken now?

Why was she sorry?

"It's alright Rukia-chan, and I've told you before, just call me Isshin." She smiled softly at his remark, somehow feeling slightly better. Seeing her smile, he decided right now, she needed this. She needed some cheering up….

"You know Rukia-chan… you and that idiot son of mine disappeared around the same time…." He started, his voice reverting back to the childish tone he used most of the time.

Rukia visibly froze.

Did he work out what had happened?

Did he hate her?

Was he angry?

There was a whirlwind of questions that clouded her mind, dreading the answers to every single one… He leaned over placing one hand over the side of his mouth so he was whispering into her ear.

"It's alright to do it here you know…. I'LL HAVE GRAND-CHILDREN IN NO TIME!" he finished in a yell, not only hammering into her eardrum but her face changed drastically at what he just said. Her mind was reeling with shock, the only coherent thought running through her mind was…..what?

Within seconds, a crimson blush spread across her cheeks as she spluttered at his insinuation.

"What- what, what, what are you saying?" her eyes widened so they were as large as saucers and she continued to gape like a fish out of water.

The man, who was probably hundreds of years old, was now dancing around the small room in glee, talking about his third daughter and all the grandchildren that would be running around.

"No, no, no y-you have it all wrong!" she spluttered back, her whole face now as red as a tomato.

"Oh-Ho-Ho… Why are you so red my dear? Unless…" he trailed off, glancing around the room with uncertainty.

Rukia sighed with relief, praying to whoever the hell was up there that the shinigami in her presence finally realized he had gotten it wrong…

After hearing the rest of his sentence she figured…

Nope, apparently they weren't listening to her pleas.

"Unless….MY IDIOT SON DIDN'T PLEASE YOU! OH MASAKI, OUR SON WASN'T ANY GOOD IN BED, AND HAS PUT SHAME TO THE KUROSAKI NAME! HE WASN'T EVEN ABLE TO PLEASE HIS WOMAN!" He began to sob uncontrollably; pulling a poster of his deceased wife from god knows where, then curling up to it like an infant.

She didn't think it was possible for any more blood to her head. She could swear her face was like a night-lamp, and even red enough to give Renji's hair a run for its money….

Rukia was sure by the volume of his voice, the idiots in soul society probably herd his claim…. Hell, she bet even Aizen and his gang were on their way.

Wait…shit, Grimmjow probably heard that….

Oh no, that is going to one fun conversation topic….

Dammit Isshin!

She wished that she could damn the cause of her trouble out loud, but her mind was still reeling over the shock of what he just said.

It still had yet to process those thoughts, and she hoped to whatever god that still existed for people like her, that those thoughts would never have to pass through her brain again.

Snapping out of her stupor, she realized that she had yet to accomplish the reason she came, as well as Grimmjow was still waiting outside… She knew only one way to shut the man up, and even though she didn't want to ruin her relationship with the strawberry's dad, she knew it had to be done.

Sighing, she walked over to where he was crouched over, before placing her hand on his shoulder gently.

"Listen, no one can know I'm here… not even the strawberry….got it?" Isshin chuckled at his son's nickname before nodding slowly.

"I assumed there is a reason you've come back from soul society?"he asked, seriousness and worry laced in his tone.

"Actually…that is the reason why I'm here…. I never went to soul Society…" she replied in a solemn tone. Isshin's eye-brows shop up as confusion shrouded his features.

"I'm sorry…." She whispered once more, before she pulled off her hood, and opened the front of her cloak to reveal her uniform…..as well as the hole that signified what she had become.

He swore his heart stopped beating when he saw the mask that adorned her head, as well as the hole that ran straight through her chest.

This….wasn't meant to happen….

Not to her…

…Why?

Why did this happen to her of all people?

"I'm not going to give up this life yet, Isshin-san. I know that I don't deserve it after becoming….this, but I still have things I have to finish. I just need my gigai…. Please, I don't want to fight you…." She ended in a meek whisper.

Why did this have to be so…hard?

To her utter shock, the man before her didn't draw his sword, nor did he curl his lips in disgust….he simply reached out, pulling her into a sincere embrace.

"I don't care that you're an arrancar…. You're still my third daughter, Rukia-chan…. No matter what you or anybody else thinks…"

The tears she tried so hard to keep at bay cascaded down her cheeks, though this time they weren't tears of sorrow, but of happiness…

Her non-existent heart swelled at his words, as she silently thanked him. They stayed in that position for a full minute, before she moved and stood, smiling gently at him.

"Thank you….for everything." She muttered as she started walking away towards the room which contained her gigai. His last words echoed throughout her mind as she reached the door.

"_No thank you, Rukia-chan….For stopping the rain in my immature son's heart". _

* * *

She wore a genuine smile as she walked into the strawberry's room, admiring the small space…. One of the few places she truthfully felt at ease…

Glancing around, she was surprised to see a small lion plushy curled up on the made bad, hugging its knees like they were a lifeline.

"Kon…" she muttered, before slowly wandering over to the stuffed animal. She reached out delicately, grazing the top of his head before his eyes shot open in alarm. One look in her direction and his face turned into a dreamy expression, as if he wasn't sure if it was an illusion or not.

"Is that you, Nee-san?" he asked, surprisingly civilly, before reaching out to her outstretched hand, grazing against it.

"I'm here Kon… I promised, didn't I?" The small head of the animal nodded silently as his lips curled into a sincere smile.

"I missed you Nee-san… Ichigo hasn't come home yet, and that thing left as well…" she spotted the slight wet patch on the bed…he had been crying.

"It's alright; I'm here now…" she whispered as he smiled in response.

"I don't know if this is just a dream, nee-san, but I don't care. I want to know, where you have been?" he spoke in such a genuinely concerned voice; it was hard to believe she was still talking to Kon, the perverted mod-soul.

"I was in a scary place…. And I can' return here anymore because of it… They turned me into one of them…..a hollow." She whispered, sorrow and pain seeping into her voice. To her surprise, the stuffed animal simply shushed her, and shook his head slowly.

"It doesn't matter Nee-san…. You're still Nee-san. No matter what happens….you'll always remain Nee-san in everyone's hearts…"

She gasped at how…cheesy he sounded, yet at the same time, it was exactly what she needed to hear.

"One day Kon, I promise you. I will return…. I can't say that everything will ever be normal again…but I will come back for you…..promise?" she reached out her hand which he instantly hugged with his entire body.

"Promise…" he replied, before drifting back into a dreamless sleep. She smiled at his sleeping figure, before pulled away from the half embrace and walking over to her old closet to grab her gigai. She merged with it fairly easily, before climbing out.

She took in every feature of the room, committing it to memory as she searched for a pen and some paper.

It didn't take her long to find her stash of markers and her clip board. Instantly, she tore a page out and then put the clip board away again. She began scribbling her message, knowing that one day… be it in a week, or in thirty years, someone would find it.

She finished within the minute, before folding it and hiding it in the corner of her old closet… She left the room quickly with a smile on her face and only a few thoughts running through her mind.

_No matter what…. A family like that shouldn't be forced into a war like this….that's why…. I'll do everything I can to protect them….they deserve so much more than they've been dealt. _

* * *

As the sun's rays began to peak over the horizon, she spotted her blue-haired companion slumped against the same pole he was last time. She smiled as she walked up to him, and then proceeded to whack him on the back of the head to wake him up.

He was awake in an instant, only to find a midget smiling down on him. Somehow, even though the insults tumbled out of his mouth naturally, as he gazed at her peaceful expression, framed by the rising sun, he didn't mean any of it….right now, at this moment, she was…perfect.

He was brought back to reality when he felt a small hand grab his own before pulling him with her as they walked hand in hand down the street towards the blood-red horizon.

"So, where we goin', Midgie?"

"No idea."

"Where do you want to go then?"

"Forward."


	11. Ichigo

**Author's Note: Wow I'm sorry for the hellishly long update time guys. I honestly had no idea that it would take this long to get everything sorted, but for now I'm planning to finish this story before continuing my others. This chapter is depressingly short for such a long wait, and I'm truly sorry, but I have pretty much drawn the outline for all of my stories.**

**Thanks for being patient with my slow ass, and here as promised is chapter 11. **

**(By the way, this is Ichigo's POV because I feel that I really haven't given many characters shit for attention) This pretty much sets up the plot for the rest of the story, so excuse my horrible writing.**

**As always, please review and tell me what you think, enjoy!  
**

* * *

When he first arrived in the hideout of the Vizards, he didn't expect THIS.

Sure, he thought it was possible it might take more than a few hours, even a day at most, but not this. After successfully defeating his inner hollow, the hours afterwards began to meld together, as did the days.

They updated him on the time yes, but it did nothing to stop him from losing his sense of it. He wasn't even sure how long he had been training, until they told him to sleep claiming that 21 hours non-stop was enough for that day. Without the constant reminders of the sun and the moon, he soon lost all perception of time.

He fell into a monotonous routine.

Wake from a 4 hour sleep, eat anything and everything the Vizards had to offer, help wash up, train until his limbs screamed in protest if he even attempted to shift them, and then fall into a restless slumber once more. The only differences in this daily routine he had fallen into were the surprise visits from Inoue.

They helped to once again, to force him to think and consider what was going on in the world outside of the warehouse, especially when being told about Aizen's grand scheme. And yet, no matter how much effort he put in trying to forget, the anxiety remained.

He knew his worry for his family and friends would NEVER dissipate, but this cause of uncertainty was something entirely different. Being the kind of person who often relied on his gut instinct, he usually followed it without question. That was why he was having such a hard time training. His mind was screaming at him to pay attention to the lethal zanpakto mere inches from his throat, while his gut was roaring that he should run and return to his family.

Ever since the dreadful night he almost lost Rukia and he encountered the arrancar for the second time, his instincts had been going wild, telling him something was wrong. No matter how much he thought about it, knowing that people got hurt, knowing that he couldn't protect them, it still didn't pinpoint the CAUSE of this feeling, which made him even more anxious.

Don't ask him how, but he knew something was out of place the night that he left. Perhaps that everything seemed too….normal. Everyone got healed, no one had any lasting injuries, no one shouted at him for his failure….everything was too perfect.

Ever since he arrived to the warehouse, most of his attention was still directed anywhere but the battle he was already engaged in. When the days began to blur together, so did his conflicted thoughts and instincts, until they all began to fade. No longer was he thinking about what he was doing, only acting.

He wanted to feel numb.

He NEEDED to feel it, and eventually he did.

When he felt wind whistle past his right ear, he lunged to the left; when he heard a grunt front behind, he turned bringing his sword in a half hearted attempt to block. No matter how much he pretended it was, his heart and spirit were not with him while he was training.

They were back home, with his family…with….Rukia.

Ah yeah…the violet eyed-midget. Luckily the nightmares had all but receded, yet they left a gaping hole in their steed. It wasn't that he enjoyed them, kami no! But they were something to at least fill the 4 hour void when he was unconscious.

They were a bitter-sweet reminder that his heart still, very well remained intact…. Twisted and confused yes, but it still lay there. The last haunting nightmare he suffered was burned into his memory. It was different than the others…. So different it caused him to remember every word.

* * *

_{Flashback}_

* * *

He knew he was asleep. He could feel it in the way he was able to move his limbs without grunting in pain, and how he was able to close his eyes freely and simply forget about his troubles…so why couldn't he wake up? Usually, when he knew he was asleep, he would awake an instant later, but there was something about this dream in particular.

It felt surreal, like he was floating away from all the doubt, worry and guild that relentlessly ripped and tore at his tormented soul. Unlike every other night, his body didn't feel heavy, and the metallic taste of blood didn't fill his mouth. It was different…yes, he was in a different setting this time. He felt the breeze blow softly, rustling his hair and tickling his ears ever so lightly. In a way, it was refreshing.

He glanced around his surroundings, quickly realizing that he could feel the breeze because he was standing on the edge of a steep cliff. He could hear waves crashing against the serrated rocks below as well as the sloshing of the foam. He stared silently ahead into the pitch-black sky, carefully observing the stars that dotted the midnight horizon. He withdrew his focus from the gems that covered the sky, instead focusing on the full, pure orb that stood solitary in the centre of the sky. The moon shone down, its rays caressing his sun-kissed features in a soft glow, giving his figure an eretheral affect only capable by the moonlight. He allowed his eye-lids to slowly droop shut as he listened once more, to the crashing of the waves and the howling wind. His eyes snapped open as he felt the wind that only moments before, was softly blowing past his body, now pound relentlessly into his chest. He grit his teeth and clenched his jaw as well as his fists as the wind turned into a gale, as well as dropping in temperature. He was soon sure that ice was forming on the tips of his fingers, as the ability to move evaded him. His eyelids fell closed once more as he concentrated on what the wind sounded like, seeing as a second ago, he was almost certain he heard a voice whisper in his ear, and it was not just any voice… no, it sounded exactly like a certain violent midget. Ever so softly, he heard her voice once more, it was so quiet, it took all of his focus and attention to hear over the roaring gale, and relentless waves.

* * *

_I'm not sure what's in store for us in the battles ahead Ichigo…_

* * *

He wanted to reach out to her, hearing her voice sound so broken and despairing… he wanted to do anything he could to fix it. He still wasn't completely sure what she was talking about, but he didn't even bother to think of a reply, instead listening intently once more. The sound of the crashing of the waves and the wind gradually faded to a low buzz in the background, as he heard only her voice whispering into his ear.

* * *

_I don't know if we'll get separated, or ever see each other again…_

* * *

He wanted to shout at her for her idiocy! Just what the hell was she going on about? Of course they wouldn't get separated! As soon as he gets back, he would stick to her like glue, and he'd never have to let go…right? As much as he loathed admitting it, he needed her around, as much as she did him. They may never have voiced their opinions before, but the looks he shared with her and her alone were completely unique, and he doubted she had ever shared the same connection with anyone either. If he knew how he felt, and she knew how he felt, why would she even question something so…. So…. So stupid!

* * *

_I will do everything I can to protect you…_

* * *

What? Once more, he wanted to shout, yell, stomp, and roar at her until she hammered it into her thick skull that HE was meant to protect HER. That's the way it had always been, although reluctant on her part, he would always protect her, regardless of her opinions of the matter. Why couldn't she see that? His scowl deepened, as he almost forgot the very reason he was in this particular position in the first place. It was the waves below that brought him back from his reviver of thoughts, and back to the conversation at hand.

* * *

_Once this is all over, you'll probably forget me… I'll always remember you, Ichigo._

* * *

He choked on her words, stubbornly refusing to believe the clear message getting clearer and clearer with each word she spoke. Why was she doing this to him? How could he ever forget her, the woman who changed his entire life? Why…. Why did she have to sound so broken when she spoke those words? And why did everything she said sound so much like 'goodbye'. He needed her to be beside him. He needed to pound some sense into her, tell her that everything was going to be fine and that she had to stop sounding like that! He HAD to do it, for the very sound of her voice was tearing him apart.

It was the same as the other nightmares… the ones where her beating heart would be torn from her chest, as he was forced to watch the whole episode in slow motion, unable to SAVE her. They were the worst…. The feeling of helplessness always slithered like a snake, forming tight coils around his neck so he could barely breathe. When she spoke to him in those nightmares, it would always end up being the worst part. The sound of her voice, begging him not to leave her alone, and him being completely useless and unable to protect her… He hated it… that broken voice she used. He needed to tell her! To yell some sense into her brain, and tell her to stop talking like she was going somewhere…like she was leaving him!

* * *

_Just promise me something, Ichigo… Don't hate me. Because after everything that's happened, I-_

* * *

Her voice faltered slightly as his heart fell in his chest after hearing her choke back a sob.

* * *

_I don't think I could live with myself, knowing you hated me. _

* * *

Her voice was so eerily quiet you could hear a pin drop. He had to tell her! That- that he would never hate her! Sure, he would snap at her that he hated her when she did something stupid like decorating his curtains with Chappy the Rabbit, just before his friends arrived leading to half of the school population believing he was in fact, gay. But he didn't actually hate her, loathe her, despise her, whatever you want to call it. She was his… his partner, his best friend, his midget, and sometimes his unwilling rescuee. Him legitimately hating Rukia just didn't compute in his brain, and he had to let her know somehow!

* * *

_I'm so sorry, Ichigo…. Thank you for everything, sayounara._

* * *

He sat up abruptly, his arms and legs crying in agony at the sudden movement while his thought process remained far from his stiff, sore limbs. That was by far the worst out of all the nightmares he had to endure. Although he was reluctant to admit it, the prospect of her leaving him was one of the only things that could scare him these days. Whenever he thought about the future, she was always by his side as if it was a natural thing, which he honestly believed it was. He believed he would go through collage after all this Aizen-bullshit, with her by his side then maybe in ten or so years he would join the Gotei Thirteen. The very idea of her NOT standing by his side was unsettling to say the least.

That train of thought left him once again pondering over her words, laced with pain and uncertainty. Yes, he could decipher the fact that she was saying goodbye, and did it hurt like hell? Of course! But the main question left unanswered was why? It was just a dream right? She didn't actually say any of the shit she said in his dream right? So why then did it hurt like hell even thinking about the so-called 'goodbye' if it was just a god damn dream! And the other things she said. He could NEVER hate her, so why did she even bring it up? Why did the dream raise so many god damn questions and answer practically none! Was the whole fucked-up experience even real to begin with?

He clenched his fists in frustration, so tightly that he could feel his nails dig deeply into the flesh of his palms, drawing crimson droplets of blood. He felt like yelling, screaming and having a fit to the heavens in frustration. He was annoyed, he was tired, he was angry, he was anxious, he was worried, but most of all he was confused as hell. He wanted- no needed answers and somehow he knew that the only person who could give them to him, was the very person who was centre of the whole thing.

He knew that to get the answers he so desperately was seeking, he would have to confront the person who started it all, and to do that, he would need to make it through this training alive. He vowed that he would return to her…to them. So for now, he would fight- be it with or without his heart and soul really there, and he would go through the motions of living in order to return. And then he would return, and confront her about the dream. Once upon a time, they told each other everything, so once again he would re-open the window to his soul, leaving himself bare to her and her alone. There was so 'ifs', and 'maybes' it was WHEN he saw here again. They would talk, and he would confront the issue that he always shied away from when it was brought up. The dream had one again, reopened his need to know exactly what was in store for them in the future, be it immediate or distant. He would demand answers, and they would go on like they did before. At least, that was what he told himself, because the horrible sensation in the very pit of his gut wouldn't quit. The idea that the stupid dream was truthfully her only farewell gave him chills, and he refused to believe it. He needed to believe that they would once again reunite; otherwise he wasn't sure how he would make it through. He just needed to believe…

* * *

_[End Flashback]_

* * *

He threw his head back in haste, to avoid the otherwise fatal slash aimed directly at his throat.

Luckily enough, he gained enough leverage from his dodge to twist his torso around, and bring his own blade to parry the other, now aiming for his chest. He heard a grunt from his sparring partner, quickly followed by the swishing sound of something flying through the air. It took him a moment to realize what was actually thrown in his direction before there was a surprisingly durable sandal embedded in his forehead. Raising his eyes to meet his so-called 'instructor' he came face to face with an extreeemly pissed looking Hiyori, her hollow mask covering her eyes holding her zanpakto out threateningly.

Ah, there came the chorus of swearwords, telling him of his incompetence, ranging from '_asshole_' to the most frequently used on him and Shinji '_dickhead_'. He mechanically retorted using her hated nickname of '_fang-gir_l', to which the threw her other sandal at his chest with a surprising amount of force.

"Your mask broke while you were spacing out, dickhead! Hurry up and put it back on before I kill you!" she snapped, and somehow he could tell that behind the mask she was wearing a scowl that could match his own. Glaring daggers at the 'fang-girl', he pulled down his mask once more, charging at the second violent midget he had the displeasure of meeting. Right as his sword was about to clash with hers, he felt it.

A reitsu…no several reitsu entering the living world that he had come to familiarize with the arrancar. He felt the big guy he faced the first time, along with several others he had never felt before. Then he felt it, a wild untamed reitsu separating from the pack and heading his way.

Leaving Hiyori behind in the dust, he used shunpo in the direction of the Espada that had almost cost him the life of the other violent midget in his life…

_Grimmjow... _


	12. Cero

**Author's Note: A wild update appeared! **

**Anyway, rather than flood you all with pathetic excuses, I'm just going to say that I finally got myself a graphics tablet to draw with, so that's pretty much what I have been doing.**

**Check out my Deviant art because I'm drawing some things for this fic ;P**

http : / gone – phishing . deviantart . com

**Just delete the spaces, and check it out. I need more page views, XD**

**I will post a picture of Rukia with her resurrection form soon.**

* * *

A pair of violet eyes snapped open as their owner's face twisted into a silent scream. She was panting heavily, limbs feeling exhausted, her throat closing as a burning sensation settled behind her eyelids. Beside her, a familiar blue-haired man crushed her body to his chest, in a desperate attempt to do something. Anything; anything to stop her never-ending nightmares, anything to stop her almost violent shuddering, but most of all, anything to stop her screams of terror.

It had been growing steadily worse each day they spent in the human world. Hell, it might have even started before that, all the way back in Hueco Mundo.

Even then, a decent night's sleep for the 10th Espada, was a myth.

Back then, it was images of the past, dark spaces, empty faces and the sensation of falling that haunted her dreams. Now, it began with an orange haired man, turning away before falling. Down, down, down, until no color remained, until the emotions she attempted to hold close to her heart fluttered away slightly out of her grasp, until the overwhelming despair and loneliness made her want to just give in. Falling into the darkness.. into insanity, had never felt so appealing. And always, just as the madness began to crawl in her veins, a warm sensation would flood her dull senses, effectively reeling her back from the brink of insanity.

The feel and the touch of another, along with the soothing whispers, telling her it was alright, and the purely masculine scent that emanated from her 'Kitty', managed to retrieve that long-gone emotion, then use it to fight. To hope. It was always then, when she fought back, that she awoke. Every time there were screams- always her own- as she attempted to stop her limbs from shaking.

As her heartbeat began to slow from its previously thundering pace, as her breaths slowly were drawn out instead of coming in short gasps, she made the effort to strain her vision, in order to lock eyes with her 'Kitty', her partner, her only source of sanity.

Liquid amethyst clashed with burning aqua. On the outside, Grimmjow looked no worse for the ware. His clothes were regular, human clothes that they bought, his expression was relatively controlled, his eyes hard and fierce as always. If it wasn't for his heavy panting, it would seem nothing would be amiss with the scene.

As his own heartbeat began to slow to a regular pace, he studied the girl in front of him in detail.

Her usual bright eyes were slightly dulled, and sickly looking dark bags hung under her eyes, displaying to the world her obvious lack of sleep. Her hair was slightly ruffled, kicking out in wisps down the nape of her neck. If it wasn't for the bags under her eyes, the combination of her pajamas being slightly too large, making her look even tinier than she already was, the tousled hair, the wide, bleary eyes and dazed look, and the way she clutched the front of his shirt like it was a lifeline, he would have to say she was the epitome of cute.

But no.

He was a hollow. The 6th Espada to boot, and there was no way in this life or the next, that he would ever admit that the creature in front of him may or may not be the cutest thing he had ever laid eyes upon, in a place other than his head.

"You look cute."

Shit!

He wasn't meant to say was he was thinking!

What the hell!

He was meant to tell her to stop moving, shut up and go to sleep, like every other night. Sure, when he told her to stop moving, he was actually asking what she dreamed about, and when he told her to shut up, it translated to 'are you alright?' and when he said 'go to sleep' he meant that he'd be there. They both knew the meaning behind his seemingly cruel and harsh words, her silently accepting that it was his way of expressing his feelings, and him, struggling not to sound like a complete moron, so instead speaking that way simply because it was what he was used to.

This wasn't good. He just openly admitted his opinion without masking it in curses in insults. And judging by the devilish smirk spreading across her face, she just realized it to. He clenched his jaw, waiting for the mocking laughter to come. To his surprise, she merely stared at him curiously, one eyebrow raised inquisitively, before cuddling to his chest once more.

"You alright up there? You look like you just had a brain aneurism." Her voice came out in slightly above a whisper. Curiosity and a very slight hint of concern slipped into her tone, surprising them both.

He jerked slightly in response, nodding, then crushing her closer to his chest.

"Shut up, go to sleep and don't you dare wake me up again." He growled, his voice slightly scratchy from lack of use.

That translated to something along the lines of '_shut up get some rest, I'll still be here when you wake'_

She smiled silently against his chest, as her breathing began to slow as she eventually began to drift into the realms of the unconscious.

Grimmjow felt the strain of the past week crash down upon his shoulders, as the lack of sleep, constant strain on his body as well as emotion strain made his eyelids feel incredibly heavy.

He too, was only seconds away from drifting off to sleep, before a number of incredibly powerful, Espada Reitsu crashed into the human world. Among them, he could feel not only Yammy, the ex 10th Espada, Wonderweiss, and the faint aura of Ulquiorra, but he could feel an extra. He snorted in frustration, when he realized the last reitsu that he didn't recognize, must belong to the Espada who was currently taking his place.

He grinned manically at the realization that this would be the perfect time to take care of that orange-headed punk. Even if she never said it out loud, he could tell that the tangerine-haired bastard was a large part of the reason why Rukia couldn't sleep properly. He would make that asshole pay for hurting her…

Carefully maneuvering himself out of her embrace, he managed to slink out of the single bed they shared. The apartment in which they were staying, apart from being absolutely tiny (curtsey of the weird man who wore the green and stripy hat) was surrounded by monitors. It was part of the deal they made, which in the end was fair enough.

The shinigami were still slightly suspicious.

Who in their right minds would trust 2 Espada?...even if one of them was an ex-shinigami.

He knew their suspicion and unease hurt Rukia much more than she let on, but that was at the back of his mind. Concentrating, he managed to slip past the monitor, before using sonido off in the direction of that damn warehouse.

Smirking to himself, he allowed the reitsu that he had kept sealed off for the last week, burst free of its confines, essentially sending a message to the shinigami brat. He almost laughed when he felt the Ichigo's reitsu speeding towards his own.

Hook, line and sinker.

Perfect.

* * *

Rukia shifted uncomfortable, huddling the thin blanked closer to her chest. The chill ran through her bones, as she could barely feel her toes. Half an hour ago she was warm. Now she was freezing. Fumbling with the covers, she blindly reached out to try and detect the ball of warmth that was Grimmjow. Odd, the other side of the bed was cold too. She almost growled when she blinked her eyes open.

The room was still dark, the blinds shut not allowing any sunlight into the apartment. Rubbing her eyes, she glanced around the small space. It took at least a minute for her sleep deprived brain to comprehend that Grimmjow was nowhere nearby.

She concentrated to feel the sliver of reitsu that he always failed to keep reigned in, but was taken aback when she felt it fully unleashed, lashing out wildly at anther.

Moving as quickly as she could, she grabbed the long cloak she bought on her first night, before throwing it on and jumping out the window, soidno'ing off towards where she felt his reitsu the last.

In a mixture of surprise and horror, she realized there was another reitsu, flaring out wildly, right next to the smothering weight of Grimmjow's.

Oh no.

There was only one person who's reitsu felt like THAT.

That complete moron!

He was going to blow their cover by fighting Ichigo, especially in Karakura.

What the hell was he thinking!

When she reached him, he was going to be in for it…

* * *

Ichigo hurriedly rushed to duck his head, as yet another swipe of Grimmjow's hand came inches away from tearing his head off his shoulders. Even with his hollow mask, he had barely managed to damage the Espada.

The realization that he actually may die if someone didn't come to help him was a tough one to face. His steps grew slower, and breaths heavier as the revelation weighed down on him.

His eyes widened as Grimmjow disappeared from his sight momentarily. This wasn't good. He tensed his muscles a fraction of a second before yet another fist careened into his stomach. Using the force of the punch to propel himself backwards, he rolled a few meters before regaining his footing.

Picking up his sword had never felt so heavy, as the energy of going Bankai slowly drained away at his reserves. He glanced back up at where Grimmjow was smirking previously, only to have his attention drawn by a figure in the distance, hurtling towards him at a frightening speed.

So distracted he was, he did have time to block as Grimmjow used sonido and sent a devastatingly strong punch towards his jaw. Ichigo reacted a split second too late, leaving him unable to dodge the blow. A sickening crunch echoed through the area as Grimmjow's fist made contact with his jaw, sending him crashing to the ground.

He struggled to stand once more, as the pain that racked his body amplified. It felt as if his nerves were on fire, as they burned and screamed in agony as he forced his battered body to take stance. Gritting his teeth against the pain, his amber eyes shining in determination, he leapt forward utilizing shunpo, to swing his sword from behind, aiming at the Espada's jugular.

Grimmjow raised his hand just in time, the two forces and monstrous reitsu crashing against each other in a battle of wills. Using one last ditch effort, Ichigo concentrated solely on focusing his reitsu, channeling a massive force into his blade.

"Getsuga…" Ichigo watched in smug fascination as the Espada's eyes widened exponentially, as he quickly brought his other hand up to attempt to block the incoming attack.

"cero!"

"TENSHOU!"

Both cries pierced the air simultaneously, both opposing parties been blown apart by the sheer destructive force of the attacks. Unfortunately, in the split second after the impact, Ichigo's grip on his sword had loosened very slightly, so when Grimmjow followed up on his frontal assault, his very blade was knocked from his grasp, flying through the air then clattering to the ground a good 20 feet away.

Shit.

He glanced up momentarily at Grimmjow, the Espada's purely smug grin sending chills down Ichigo's spine. In a split second, Grimmjow's arm had darted out and closed the distance between them, clutching his skull in a death grip.

Ichigo's eyes widened in horror as he realized that there was no way he would be able to dodge or block this next attack.

His skull felt like it was on fire as the horrible stench of burning flesh assaulted his nostrils. He almost choked when he connected the dots.

Grimmjow was charging yet another cero against his skull.

He couldn't escape.

He was going to die.

His vision began to blur as a blinding blue light blocked his vision.

Suddenly, a voice screamed as everything began to blur together.

"YOU STUPID MORON!"


End file.
